Thursday, June 29, 2006

V A C A T I O N


ok blogging world, i am off....bring the mail in and check on the cats if you're around. see you soon

my way or else

i am a control freak...there, i've said it out loud. but i don't feel better about it. i can't believe this is who i am. i posted earlier about my issues with teaching the oldest to drive. it was suggested to me that possibly i didn't like giving up the control of the vehicle. poo i said, who wants to take over my life? come get it...please.

i think it's true. i always thought i wasn't, i roll with more things in a day then alot of people would have to deal with in a month. but that is confusing capable with controlling. (lightbulb over my head)

yesterday afternnon hub and i were discussing his cousins upcoming wedding. it's at a bad time. first weekend in Sept. , equals kids in school, first weekend of the boys football seasons, and not an easy time to leave. so he says to me, we should go alone together. it's in OBX, hotel is paid for, and we could be real live grown ups TOGETHER...dinners, a nice party, all dressed up. a long weekend alone. sounds relaxing, right?

WRONG...i start to freak out worrying about the kids. his mom is just unreliable. but in reality it would be 3 days, one of which they would be in school, and one of which all she would need to do is sit at the football field. i know she could do it. then i get all weird about missing their games. because i haven't been to a kagillion peewee and hs football games, and won't be at every other one the rest of the season.

then later in the evening, we went to watch hub race the car. it's a 1/4 mile track, and on weds anyone can race. dirtbikes, motorcycles, slicks and street cars. so i'm driving the car out and he's in my car with the kids..."plotting". we get there and he say's he wants to let the oldest run my car on the track. (WTF HOLY SH*** ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDDING ME). i was like no way ...uh uh, sorry. and hub looks at me and says why not? then i realize, what right do i have to tell him he can't do something with our son. something he loves and wants to share with his kids. i am a control freak.

if it doesn't get done my way i don't like it. esp when it comes to the kids. herein lies alot of our problem. i complain about doing everything for everyone, but i think that's the way i like it. so as i watched my first born dirve my car down a race track at (a very respectable) 85 miles an hour (in 16 seconds!) i began to think i need to let go ...but just a little.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

i for one, am ready

what goes around, comes around

proving once again..Karma is a female, and will getcha if you don't look out.....
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (June 26) - Rush Limbaugh was detained for more than three hours Monday at Palm Beach International Airport after authorities said they found a bottle of Viagra in his possession without a prescription.
Customs officials found a prescription bottle labeled as Viagra in his luggage that didn't have Limbaugh's name on it, but that of two doctors, said Paul Miller, spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.
A doctor had prescribed the drug, but it was "labeled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for privacy purposes," Roy Black, Limbaugh's attorney, said in a statement.

Monday, June 26, 2006

........

Panic and mayhem broke out in several small towns across western Pennsylvania this afternoon as a large glowing orb appeared in the sky for a few moments. Some minor injuries were reported, a few blistering burns as the rays from the strange "circle of fire" hit some exposed skin. Most injuries were sustained as people rushed for cover to avoid the reach of the glow. Luckily the phenomenon lasted no more than 3 - 5 minutes. A few of the older residents insist this object was the "Sun", that mythical object of fairy tales and old wives stories. One gentlemen, who refused to be identified, spoke of a time when this "Sun" would be in the sky for days, even weeks on end. One can only imagine the horror.

purge

OH MY GOD.....it is still raining!!!!! i can think of 1 or 2 days in the past week and a half that there has been no rain. ENOUGH.

ok i got that outta my system. i know quite a few of you who i want jumpin on this 30 day diet with me. don't make me name names. do it and leave your results in comments on Mondays. cmon if i lived close we could do it live, same idea.

i am super proud of myself, i finally buckled down this weekend and got 2 big trouble spots in my house cleaned. i did my kitchen counters, and on top of my fridge. (eewwwww) then i did the cabinet with 23487650987 pieces of plastic storage containers. 20 of which had lids that actually fit. literally, there was an entire garbage bag of old pieces or lids with no bottom. then on top of the fridge, i am almost ashamed to admit, was the free cooler bag i got from my bank, when i opened my checking account.....almost 7 years ago. and some dust, and crap i threw up there when i moved because i had no where else to put it. GONE

i also cleaned my office. now i do on top of my desk and my files etc often. i have to in order to get things done. but my office is just that, it's mine. no one else uses it, no one comes into it, no one sees it...you can imagine the state it was in. it is my catch all room. i have 3 shelving units in here, turns out..i really only need 1 1/2. this is just a sampling of what was found

700 miles of assorted wire, chargers, s cables, a/v cables, and the like

pictures that i got developed a year ago from the digital, forgot about and just recently got developed again

ALL the blue pens that i am constantly looking for. i prefer blue ink and every time i reach for one i say"where do all my blue pens go?" found em

half of Hilo Hattie...the store with aloha. i have been to Hawaii enough to not need any more crap, but i can't help it. anyone need some pineapple syrup?

7 million address sheet labels with only 3 or 4 labels actually left on the sheet

no less than 4 packs of pre school flash cards.

every container of blistex/carmex i have misplaced in the last 3 years.

receipts that needed to be filed last year...nice

bags, bags and more bags...someone stop me. i do not need another tote.

and finally, i have to wonder if those old 3.5 disks reproduce, cause there was a mountain of them that would rival mc kinley.

all included there were 3 bags of trash from the office...man that's gross. there is still a closet in the office to take care of, the spare storage bathroom (it's a bathroom, it's a storage room). the laundry room, and my nemesis...the playroom (cue scary music). baby steps....baby steps.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

r you up to it

Big Slice of Life, Small Slice of Cheesecake ....has put forth a challenge, 30 days 10 pounds. exercise for an hour and eat better. i'm joining in, i will head to the gym 5 days and take a nice long walk the other 2. i have been making an effort for the whole family to eat better this past year, so i will continue with that. watch my bread intake (my weakness), and cut out sugars. i will update any prgress on Mondays. good luck!

umbrella wanted...

ok this whole rain thing is REALLY getting OLD. the sweet n low in my kitchen is clumping! in my house, not left outside. ifeel like i'm at a baseball game on a rainy day and can't get any freakin sweet n low in my coffee. figures too, i was really kinda bummin lately (like you couldn't tell), and decided yesterday to get outta my funk. so i decided ENOUGH, this is up to me. yeah then today i get up to 110% humidity in my house and literally pouring buckets of rain. it looks like the scenes from Forrest Gump. the kids are cranky and i am damn tired of looking on the bright side....i keep saying if it rains this week (and last week), what are the chances it will rain next week when we are at the beach?

i am starting to have nightmares of our Lake George vacation a few years ago.....anyone remember that one? for those of you who didn't have the joy of being there (and growing gills to survive) my brothers and sisters and i got a "cabin" and it poured for 4 of the 5 days. we were outside, in the rain, playing volleyball because we had lost our minds. and i use the word cabin loosely...trust me.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

i get it for free

on our way to an outdoor graduation party today my oldest says...."well at least it isn't raining here" as he finishes the word here, raindrops start to fall on the windsheild. without missing a beat he says "well at least it isn't raining cash" bahahahaha..people pay to be entertained like this.

you mean this is it?

i have been reading alot of other peoples blogs since i started doing this. and i have noticed a common theme through alot of them. whether they are mommies of small children who are just figuring this whole thing out, seasoned pros (HA) like myself, who have been doing this awhile, or men and women just putting everyday thoughts and questions "out there" with the hope that someone, anyone, will say "i know what you mean". we do it to try and figure things out.

while i was away with my g/f's last weekend we started chatting about life in general. it started as a bitch session on our husbands, and delved a little deeper. it has to do more with life. John Lennon had a quote that went something like "life is what happens when you're making other plans" ( excuse the misquote if it's there). and i think i have finally come to understand exactly what that means.

if someone had told me 20 years ago where i would be in my life now, i would have given them my best "you are such an idiot" scoff , and said something real witty like "yeah whatever". this was not my plan. first of all, as the oldest of 5, i was NEVER having kids. i saw what it did, it sucked up all your money, it drained you of all your energy, and it stole who you really were. ummm ok, so i had no clue how much love you would feel for your child(ren) and i learned you didn't mind sacrificing those things, it was a small price to pay.

i also knew i wanted to get married, but to whom i married? no freakin way. i was marrying my soul mate and settling for nothing less. someone who would read a book after me and discuss it at length. someone who would give me new reasons to love him everyday, and make me feel appreciated with every word that came from his clean shaven face. someone who would accept with grace the fact that he is maturing and not cling to his 20's like they were the very blood that gives him life. again, i had no clue i would fall for the man who challenged everything i believed because he fell in love with my son before he fell in love with me.

contentment is a word used alot, and it's good. it's ok to be content. passion and excitement are great feelings, but they burn out and fade and life happens. thats what my friends and i were saying. we all felt guilty not being overly happy with our lives, but we love our kids and have learned the skillfull art of "mastering the husband", and we are content.

i think that's why so many of us feel the way we do. we didn't want to be content, we wanted to set the world on fire. i am 36, this is who i am. i will never be a high powered woman with the world at her beck and call. i will probably never live in LA, i will never be a size 2. i will never be so many of the things my young self pictured me being. i need to accept these things and move forward. but it is so hard to let go of those dreams.

i believe this is what a mid life crisis is. when you realize the dreams you had when you were young will always be dreams, and your life..yes the one you live every monotonous day..is really and truly what you got. and i don't mean to sound unhappy, because i'm not. i am just not 100% accepting it yet. but until i completely let go i will be content.

Friday, June 23, 2006

i wonder

Dear God,
I know you are very busy but hopefully you might have the time to answer a couple questions for me. First let me tell you how much i thoroughly enjoy being a mom to my 3 boys. But why did you give me the ability to give birth to 3 such "healthy" babies, and not make my bladder strong enough to handle the ordeal? Also I was wondering, how is it my sons can hit a ball with a little stick, perform any number of acrobatic receptions on a football field, and hit a moving target (usually a sibling) with a paintball gun, but they can not manage to relieve themselves without making puddles on the floor or seat? Finally, so as not to take any more of your time, why do boys think their room is clean if all they have done is throw everything on their bed?
Your answers would be greatly appreciated as these questions have plagued me for years. Thank you.

Skins (part 1)

well football season is around the corner. a little more than 2 months from the start of regular season. i am a football junkie. i'm not ashamed to admit it. NFL network is on in my house 24/7 during the season. so i am introducing you to the first of what will probably be a gazzillion entries in which i will gloat, scream, complain, cry and whatever else comes, along about my beloved Washington Redskins.

i have been a Skins fan since about 1979 or so, therefore Joe Gibbs is my modern day hero. he took us to 3 superbowls, he was the "glory days" coach. then he left football and went into NASCAR. finally 3 years ago, when the teams owner finally pulled his head out of his ass, he asked Joe Gibbs to return. I will never forget that day, my brother called me sounding sooo excited i thought he was getting married or had won the lottery. it was January or Feb and the season had just ended (miserably for us i will add), and from that moment on i couldn't wait for the new season to start. when he signed Mark Brunell as new qb i had my doubts, but he proved me wrong and i said i would not doubt him again.

sorry Joe, i gotta doubt you one more time. what the hell were you thinkin? why...why ...why did you let LaVar go? i watched NFL Total Access last night and they had an interview with LaVar....in his Giants blue. ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH it was so painful. (i guess i should interject here, as much as i love the Redskins...is how deeply i hate the Giants) it is part of the reason i have been avoiding football news on tv...i did not want to see that image.

LaVar was the heart of the team for a lot of bad years. when seasons were over, he would still step up and make a big play to keep spirits up. watching him gush in Tampa last year after winning his first playoff game, brought tears to my eyes. and he got a bad deal, he never meshed with the defensive head coach and you could tell. he was so unhappy he PAID them money to be released form his contract.

during the interview they asked him what he thought it would be like to play in Washington again, he said he knew the fans would cheer for the redskins, but he would be nervous to see how he would be received. he'll be a giant, but we will always love him.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

she's baaaaack

i have returned, and everyone survived. the shower was wonderful i do not think this baby will need anything until at least his first birthday. and i am happy to report that the little guy should arrive healthy and happy and HUGE....the dr told them it looks like he is 6 pounds already...with 6 weeks to go. mom to be will be fine, i am sure..i too suffer from huge baby syndrome having shoved out 2, 9 pounders myself. i am real glad i avoided nb sizes. my youngest was NEVER a NB size, so i was wise to this.

and my trip to AC was great. as an added bonus...THERE ARE OUTLETS now. who knew? so not only did i have the beach, and a little nightlife...you can add shopping too. it was a trip trifecta. i returned home on tues night to 2 dozen beautiful roses, 3 very bloated children (frozen food syndrome) and a husband who now knows what i go through in a day.

i called him on Monday to remind him of middle guys baseball game, and got the rundown, he was in wal mart (ha), his mom was giving him grief (double ha) and the oldest "forgot" to ask if his g/f could come over and now hub didn't know what to do with them (big HA)....then i talked to him about 10 pm and he was tired. mr "why can't you ever stay up with me, i don't understand why you are so tired all the time", was himself retiring at 10 pm. you couldn't wipe the smirk off my face with an sos pad.

so i didn't have the TLC while you were out crew waiting anxiously for my inspection of my new digs, which would have been sheer ecstasy. but the crew survived and most of all...they learned they really can't live without me. i knew it all along.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

scroll down

i added a new post but because i copied it a couple days ago it's not listed as today....does anyone know how to change the date of a saved draft?

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

vaca pt 2

hmph...ran around ALL morning, thinking i would have a couple hours to do laundry, clean up, look for the cat who seems to be boycotting us since our return. no f***n way man. instead i will be out again, my darling considerate hub failed to mention to me this morning or yesterday evening there were things he was needing done before i leave. then tommorrow, when i have not one second of time to spare, he will be whining i have no time for him. (i love my life ...i love my life...i love my life)

so a brief list of vacation tidbits before i forget them

it seems as though 95% of Virginians must have personalized license plates, these are some incredibly creative folks. i believe "fsh nked" was our favorite

i very much enjoyed being in a place where people not only understood my "got gibbs" t shirt, but they also liked it

i remember road rage, and was shocked at how quickly it can return

all "all you can eat" seafood buffets are not created equally, the one should have said, all you can eat, leave without a disease and your meal is free. we didn't stay

maximum time i should ever attempt to spend in the car with all 3 kids is now down to 2.5 hours.

7 year old boys do not believe you when you threaten to throw them out the sunroof..they laugh. and list other scenarios for which i may also threaten that. then they sulk and try to make you feel pity for their situation.

it was a great trip, the youngest even took my sister aside so he could buy me a specail gift. how sweet is he? and i realized the ocean is my drug of choice. ideally the ocean in Hawaii, but hey the Atlantic will suffice. the only way i could drag myself away was reassuring myself i will be back in a couple weeks.

fianally nothing brings out the little kid in my oldest like the water, he reminded me of his little boy self. of course then he would get out of the water and open his big yap and ruin my moment....but i'm used to that.

the grim reaper


I got up early this morning, knowing i had alot to accomplish today and tommorrow. the first of which was heading to the gym, seeing as i will be away agin fri-tues night. i did not want to let too many days go by or i fear i would fall out of it again, and the ink hasn't dried on their membership check yet. so i am feeling so smug..."look at me, i am sooo dedicated. up at 6 out to the gym, go me".

i don't know if it was my lack of caffeine yet, or an unusually busy day for the forest creatures, or just God taking me down a notch. but i hit a bunny. i feel like caca. to make matters worse a few short seconds later, still in shock over the bunny a chipmunk ran out and it too met it's maker.

cmon, how much worse can it get? in all my years of driving back ass country roads, i had only ever hit 1 critter. ONE!!! how does it happen today i do it twice? in the course of 30 seconds yet. i drive a durango and all i could picture was one of those cartoon trucks grinning maniaclly barelling through the forest with bunnies and deer and chipmunks and all the critters running for their lives.

beware forest creatures, the truck of death needs to venture out again. it is desperate for an oil change. i learned that even though your vehicle is 10,000 miles past it's reccommended oil change you can still add another 700 miles to that. i am not doing it again though. (reccommendations are for suckers anyway) and i must stock the house with food that kids and hub can handle, the oldest is staying home this weekend, and they will all be fending for themselves when i'm in AC. and i am pretty sure the pizza guy doesn't do breakfast.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

home again, home again

we came home today, in spite of the PERFECT beach conditions this morning, i tried to talk the kids into staying one more day. but damn my lessons on the importance of committment, the middle guy did not want to let his team down. and they lost anyway. but we did have a wonderful time, the weather wasn't so great a couple of the days, but hanging out with my sister was a blast. we are good for each other, she always makes me realize i am way less nuts than she is, and my kids ALWAYS make her less focused on the fact she is not yet married, or has children.

i learned something this past weekend, my siter must be amazing at her job, she was given a gigantor promotion while i was there. i love her to death, but we are talking about a woman who obsessed over how much chicken to bring to a family get together for 2 weeks. she ended up bringing enough to feed everyone at Cedar Point that weekend. she still thinks cheezits are a food group, and laughs at farts. i just cannot imagine her making life or death decisions (literally) for hundreds of people, but she has and can, and is getting paid the bucks to do so. so YAY!

we did have a great time, we went to the Va Beach Aquarium the one day, it was very nice. hit it up if you're in the area. went to batting cages and driving ranges. played some mini golf, and ATE lots and lots and lots, and then a little more. OK i really didn't think you could eat until you felt nasueus...you can. and we learned that even though my youngest is almost 8, he will still spill a full soda at least twice during any vacation.

now this weekend i am headed home to "shower" my almost sister in law with many baby gifts, and visit my baby sister and 2 brothers and sister in law and (sigh) my parents.

i had so much i wanted to write but now it is escaping me..i'm tired.i'll be back.

i know the big one needs a haircut...jeez.

alot like Mayberry

Mayberry Mom: Compare and contrast

i love that post. it is so very true, and it is a reason why i keep saying how nice it is here, even when everyone else is making fun. go on and read it and then i have a few things to add to her list, although i am no where near techno savvy enough to figure out how in the hell to do a chart but my list adds.

it seems as though her children are younger, and as they get older she will see how much more there is. i have eyes everywhere. if one of my kids picks their nose, someone sees them. you can have a parent teacher conference at the baseball field, you can comfortably leave your child somewhere and know there are 15 other mothers watching him for you. you know your dentist isn't ripping you off, because you let him cut his Christmas tree out of your yard last year.

small town living has it's drawbacks, but the advantages (in my opinion) far outweigh. last fall, my oldest son's football team won the district championship. this enabled them to play for our region in state's (believe me hs football is a religion around her, it is a big thing), the whole town was decorated with balloons and signs for a week before the game, and after they won the volunteer firemen met their bus at the edge of town and escorted them through with lights and sirens. things like that would never happen in the city, it would have been on page 4 of the sports section. i told him to remember the way that felt, because those are the things that make this place special.

actually when you think about it, a small town is nothing more than a real big neighborhood, only the way a neighborhood was when i was growing up. today i don't even see a shadow of that neighborhood when i visit. maybe that's why i like it here.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

now i get it

i have never been one to keep a journal or diary or anything like that. but now i see why people do. i went to just curse my husband out last night and it turned into "true confessions". but in writing what i was, i was talking myself out of my mood, and it felt good. so hopefully that will be the last time i air completely filthy laundry on the internet, but we'll see.

anyway, proving once again, karma is a biotch. my darling hub is in agony today. he had to go to the oral surgeon this morning and have 5 (yes FIVE) teeth pulled. and in his drug induced fog after having said teeth removed, he was falling all over himself, telling me how much he doesn't deserve me (true), and what a great person i am (also true). but alas the dope will wear off and it'll be back to old school.

i complain ALOT about him, i know. and if we didn't have the kids i probably would have left skid marks escaping by now. but i do love him, how can i not? i look at our kids and see him in each one of them. some days it pisses me off, but others it makes me remember. and while he may irritate the hell out of me sometimes, it is usually for doing something that is just him. he is very spontaneous, and it was one of the reasons i fell for him. i just wish he would learn to read my moods a little.

well i need to clone myself, or invent time travel to make everything work this afternoon and tomorrow. then it is off to the beach, where my sister and i will consume many calories, do the silent laugh ALOT, and have a couple too many beverages...while laying on the beach. yeah!!!!!! i know i'll feel better after that.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

if you can't think of anything nice to say



....the only lesson i decided to hold onto (except the clean underwear one), was if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. so i won't say anything about my kids, my husband, the idiot who handles my account, my MIL, or anyone. cause "that's it....I hate everyone!" ....that is a quote stolen form my youngest, who was then 4 , after a very long day at Disney. i feel it applies today....

Monday, June 05, 2006

goodbye to the family(ies)

for the last 2 weeks that is all HBO has been reminding me to " say goodbye to the family for the last time this year". watch the explosive season finale before the FINAL 8 episodes. you know what... GOODBYE.

i swear, how can a show that started out so great turn into such a ho hum? i just don't get it. even this season started off awesome. Tony got shot, for those of you who don't watch. but that was it. everything else stunk up the joint. how do the writers for HBO shows even justify it? they had to come up with what, 12 stinkin shows a season, and they can't keep it interesting? i don't even think there were 12 episodes this year. blah on you Soprano's. i will watch the FINAL 8 episodes, only because i have to see how it all ends, but i will do it with a chip on my shoulder i tell ya. of course it will probably be 10 months before it's on again so i'll have all kind of time to stew over this.

on the flip side though, the finale they didn't hype, Big Love, was great. i won't say anything in case someone who watches didn't see yet, but it had me in tears. for real, and i haven't cried since Mulder left the X Files. so now here i sit wondering what the hell am i supposed to do now? i had 2 shows i watched, now i have nothing until football season (95 days i think).

it isn't like i can't fill that void with, oh maybe cleaning the boy's bathroom, or something useful. but it's nice to have something to look forward to. i liked saying "hey it's sunday, i'll actually have something to watch tonite", now i have 3 looong months with a gaping hole in the part of my brain longing for entertainment.

of course football season creates a beast the likes of which none of you have seen yet, so "get your popcorn" (loser TO)...and give me a good book to read or something.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

vacation memories


Vacations are looming ahead (woohoo!!!!!), starting this upcoming weekend i am heading to Va beach to visit my sister for a few, then to Albany for my soon to be born nephew's baby shower, then i am going solo with my g/f's to AC for a couple days. the first week in July the hubs and chillins and i are going to the beach for a week.

most people right about this time will be dreaming ahead to the sun and sand, or visiting the relatives, lazy days etc. not this family, oh no. we are thinking ahead to the FOOD. it's almost embarrassing to write, but it's true. pizza that actually tastes like pizza, a cheesesteak that isn't a steakum with american cheese put on top, boardwalk fries with MALT vinegar , BAGELS sweet bagels,crispy on the outside, warm and chewy inside,and no one says to you "do you want it toasted?" because that would be a crime. calling for sushi to be delivered, and a roast beef sandwich where the roast beef is almost still rare. these are things that should never be taken for granted.

because i grew up east coast and my hubs traveled a couple years in the military before we moved in together we both have a palate for good food. ok who doesn't? but we have tasted it, lived it and enjoyed it. added to the fact before the kids schedules got hectic we would sit around on a friday and say man i feel like some pizza...so we would head up to NYC for the weekend. mmm cheesesteak? down to Philly. we traveled alot. we were spoiled. we are now paying the price.

the food where i live SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS. it really sucks. i ordered a pizza last night and was reminded why i gave up my favorite sausage and peppers. you are either going to get green peppers or mild to hot pepper rings. i specifically asked "do you have SWEET pepper strips?" um yeah was the answer. ummm NO they were not sweet pepper strips you pizza man loser. even in a city as large as Pittsburgh, i have yet to find something truly enjoyable. everyone looks to cabbage like it were a god around here. WTF is wrong with all of you?

you can't even find the good ingredients in the stores to attempt to create it at home. i know it's time to get outta here and consume mass quantities. last night i had a dream about those little hawaiian bananas i lived on last summer. it is sad. the calories i will consume while on vacation will also be sad, but at least i'll be smiling.

Friday, June 02, 2006

life lessons

i consider myself to be a fairly brave, even tempered, rational person. i think most people who know me would agree. i don't back down from a challenge, and i stay calm in the face of chaos. all those traits go right out the window when my oldest is driving.

he actually doesn't even drive that badly. especially considering he has a lunatic in the passenger seat. i do all those things...you know...hitting an imaginary brake, tilting my body hoping i will make the car veer a little more in the proper direction, raise my voice to an almost alarming level every damn time a car in front of him applies the brake. i don't even recognize myself. i hate it.

when we go to drive somewhere i can hear it in the back of my head a full 30 seconds before he even says it..."can i drive?" or the more manly "i'm driving". i look for excuses "the sun is too bright", "not with your brothers in the car", "cloudy, might rain"..my list is endless. when i do relent and let him drive i honestly feel queasy. you know that feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster and climbing the BIG hill? i have that feeling from the minute he asks until we park.

here's the kicker...i really want him to get his license. i do. i know some people are thinking i don't want him to grow up. sooo not true. him driving equals a lot less running for me. he even has a car ready and waiting that we are giving him. i'm kinda irked that he can't get his license until sept 11, which will be a full month into football season. and means i will be getting the "come get me" phone call at all times of the night and day.

to steal a line from Roseanne...."Now i know why some animals eat their young"

Thursday, June 01, 2006

sniff...sniff

what's that smell? that smell my friends and neighbors is the sweet smell of some FRESHLY CUT GRASS!!!!!

the gods are against me

i am not sure exactly what is living in my front yard, but it must be fabulous. perhaps an ancient pygmie tribe, or some wild almost extinct creature, maybe an herb that will cure cancer. i honestly don't know, but i wish the damn thing would get in touch with National Geographic, be discovered, and get outta my yard. i really want to cut the grass.

i can think of no other reason why the fates are against me ever strolling through my front yard without fear of snakes, and severe blood loss. it is insane. i told you all the story of the missing lawn mower. so i went and got another, and actually the people who sold my old one, sold me another used one very close to my own (a little better actually) for an incredibly reasonable price. so now of course i feel REAL bad about that stink eye/evil wish i sent their way. but anyway, i got it home and it RAINED buckets for the next 48 hours, then the day it was nice, i had no time or free kids to work on it. we are up to Sat morning now, i wake up at 7, the sun is shining, i have nowhere to be...i am cuttin the grass....sike. literally 2 laps around the yard and, because the grass is so high i cannot see, i hit a rock. snaps the mower belt. spend all day saturday attempting to get a belt. it seems that while it is a nice mower, belts for it are damn near impossible to find in stock. finally i surrendered. it was Sat 5pm of Memorial day weekend. I gave up until Tuesday.

Tuesday i went to my auto parts store in town and asked him to order me one, he did, and I got it yesterday at noon. it is very difficult to put on so I had to wait for my neighbor to get home at 4 to put it on (as hub is not home). then i had to take the oldest to football and middle guy had a baseball game. the clouds come rolling in, thunder and lightning on the horizon..you know the usual. but alas...the storm holds off and i am getting super excited "i am finally going to cut the grass!!!!"

i got the back grass 1/2 cut (thank you Jesus) and the spring that they had to remove to put the new belt on was not replaced properly, so all operations are halted again.

you know there are a few household chores i really enjoy. cutting the grass is one of them. maybe i'm weird or something, but it makes me feel good to look out over a freshly cut yard. i left a cell phone in the yard this morning with my atm card i am hoping the pygmies get the hint.