Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday morning dawned a bit gloomy but there was excitement in the air. the middle guy has to get the bus at 6:45, so our day starts early. this is his first year at the jr/sr high school, and he was a little excited. he poppped out of bed and was ready to go in record time. talking about getting to classes, filling his backpack with folders and notebooks, pens, pencils. reading his schedule over and over..his anticipation was interrupted only momentarily when the oldest came out of his coma just long enough to yell something about middle guys sexual orientation, and remind him that he would be spending the day on the couch.
out he goes for the bus, a few minutes early chatting away. 15 minutes later it was time to get youngest up. this was not quite such a pleasant experience. he crawled back under the blanket no less than 10 times. litterally crawled to the couch dragging his blanket behind him, rolled off the couch after i told him 3 times that he had to go get dressed. grumbling under his breath school was gay, why did he have to go to school. eating breakfast so early was gay, why couldn't he wear his flip flops? his feet were choking in his sneakers.
breakfast takes entirely too long, brushing teeth takes 5 reminders and threats of missing the bus. silly me...missing the bus is not a threat..he says to me "good then i can go back to bed". all he needs in his backpack is a football. so we argue over what is going in. out the door, i swear to God..the kid sticks one arm out the door and shudders..it's cold, i can't go. mom 1 kid 0...as i watched the bus carry my grumbling little 3rd grader, complete with choking feet and bed head, away, i could hear the pop of many a cork.
similar reactions upon return, middle guy eagerly gets out his books to cover, prepares notebooks and binders. lines up papers for me to sign. chatting away about his day. and hour later the bus approaches and i hear a voice bellow..."FREEDOM" as youngest comes down the driveway. not sure if he has homework, not sure if he has spelling words, but knows he has to wear a "stupid" tie on Thursdays to get upees. (upees are like reward money they get to use in the upee store on certain days). thats it..nothing else. he remebers nothing about his day, can't remeber who is in his class, and isn't sure what happened to his pencil bag.
oldest finally went yesterday, armed with his gym bag and a pen. he actually took a notebook and his backpack today...i won't see it again until may.
it's gonna be another long year...but at least the house is blissfully quiet...ALL DAY LONG
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
my sister sent me this...i am hoping if you click on it it will enlarge, because you have got to read it. i can safely say, at least i know what i'm doing wrong now.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
the 2 bathrooms upstairs got new flooring, and the boy's bathroom got a whole face lift. all the doors upstairs (which is our main living area) are new, and they open AND close. who knew? and we had had a few shingles blow off the roof last fall, this creates rain in your house. the shingles were replaced but the room had damage. so there is a new ceiling and walls in that room. i really like it. i still need to paint , but i am not paying 3 guys a combined $40 and hour to do it. it also got me thinking about some other projects that i know i could tackle on my own. despite what my hub says, i know i can do it. although i better buy LOTS of extra parts. so i am excited and looking forward to accomplishing these things throughout the fall.
all things included parts and labor it was not as much as i originally thought it might be. so i am moving my office and switching the boys bedrooms around, so each can have their own. the best part is i can do it one room at a time, thank God. i don't have to rush to try and get everything done in a weekend. then i am thinking of putting new flooring in the l/r and what will be my new office. so we shall see, and i f blogger ever allows pics again, i will post them as i finish.
need some new accesories for the bathrooms now. i am gonna need to go to target...damn
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
and school is now only5 days away...THANK YOU JESUS! i may survive. i had wanted to post pics of my damage, but couldn't...grrr, was hard to see anyway.
i forgot a funny the other night...after the accident i pulled into wal mart, of course the woman i hit was going there too. i noticed her pulling in behind me. i called my sister to tell her what happened, told her now i was embarassed to go into the store because that woman i had just hit 5 minutes ago was there. she said "Quick, go run into her with a cart now" hahahaha
Sunday, August 20, 2006
driving along... cell phone rings ...look to see who it is....look up
oh.my.God. car in front of me is stopped......
BAM!! no dmage to the other car, mine probably $2500...hood, headlight, grill...woo hoo can't wait for tomorrow
i woke up to the cat litterally nudging me in the back because she hadn't eaten in 10 minutes. at 5 am
i got up to throw...errr i mean...let the cat out, realized it had rained in the playroom last night. pretty hard too
went back to bed
woken up second time by the sweet melody of the younger 2 fighting over a video game at 8 freakin o clock in the damn morning (that may be a direct quote)
made coffee by pouring the pot of water all over the counter top
then went to set my 16oz glass of juice/water combo down, and missed...again all over the counter. i can't drink plain water in the am so i put a lil juice in, maybe i should try scotch
made cinnamon rolls for the kids and it appears something was in the oven from thursdays dinner, set off smoke alarms and ruined rolls
fought with Ringo (oldest) over him getting a haircut TODAY!
i guess i'll have to try again tommorrow
Saturday, August 19, 2006
i get like this sometimes. i wish i knew why. and usually it is at a time when i should be happy. we have no money headaches right now, kids are good, school is a week away. maybe being home last weekend with all my sibs and extended family made me realize how much i miss them all. cause i really do. i wish we could all live in the same city, hell even the same state would be nice.
maybe it's that summer is over and it went quick, and there really wasn't anything spectacular. grrr who knows. i just wish i could shake myself out of it. i hate feeling like this, because so many people would love to do the things i am able to do. i always feel so guilty for feeling blue. and that makes it worse..
i know this is dull and depressing...but right now, that is exactly how i feel. (aren't you glad you stopped by?)
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
summer isn't completely gone and i am mourning it already. i rmember the first morning i realized it was light at 5:30, the day it stayed light until close to 10 (again the elevation thing). the happy feeling i had when placing the down comforter in the chest and taking out the quilt. last night the boys had to hurry to take a quick dirtbike ride before dark, and it was only 8:15.
it is such a cruel trick....
Fall, so many things i look forward to, school starts, football begins. work goes well again. but it's all a clever disguise, designed specifically to lull me into winter. fool me with a few warm days, seduce me with a quiet, clean home, spoil me with a little cash. TRICKERY....frigid mornings, and endless days of constant snow are looming on the horizon and you will not get me this year.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
i am now starting to think gym is going to turn out like every other "guy" in my life. a whole lotta takin, and not so much giving. and gym has his hand out, oh he'll get paid. you better believe it. i am using gym like a junkie uses whatever it is they are "junkin" for. 3 or 4 times a week, and i long for it if it goes a couple days. but it's not so exciting now. i don't seem to be getting what i feel i should out of this union. have no fear i am one of those women who figures if i hang around long enough i'll fix it. i am no quitter.
i am just starting to think i will be assy for the rest of my life though. (yes that says assy it is not one of my many typos)
needless to say i am still seeing little progress in the weight loss quest, which is probably why i haven't said so much about it recently. but i do see improvements, in the beginning i was on oxygen after 15 minutes on the elliptical (sp?). now a days i can do 45 like nobody's bidness, with the resistance turned up...AND elevating the ramp. i am able to do more reps of all the machines i use, and my back feels better. i no longer pant walking up my driveway. and i am also noticing a decrease in my pms symptoms, which over the last couple years had gotten to the point of being unbearable.
i had been weighing myself every week, and first i gained some, then lost a little, gained a pound or 2 back...and so on. so i quit weighing myself, it discouraged me and i am enjoying the exercise, why turn it into a disappointment.
so today i thought about weighing myself, however talked myself out of it. becasue of aformentioned pms (i said it was better not gone). i knew what would happen, because i am retaining enough water to cause serious desalination in the Atlantic, i would probably be disappointed in the number. then because of my sensitivity today, i would throw the scale across the locker room in a fit of rage. then cry because i would be frustrated that the scale didn't go as far as i wanted. on the way home i would have purchased m&ms (plain), a 10 pound can of cashews, and cherry coke. eaten all of it before i got home, then felt bad for eating like a maniac. and then rationally tell myself i was only retaining 33 pounds of fluid.
i'll weigh myself next week.
Monday, August 14, 2006
my youngest sons birth happened a mere 9 days before my grandmother died. i'll tell you the whole story one day. my gram was very special to me, and i know i had the youngest to help ease the pain of her death.
thankfully i was able to get home and see her when baby was just a few days old. she knew i was there, and she was able to meet my new baby. although she was barely conscious, i lay him down on her chest and let them meet. and i thank God every day i was given that opportunity. less than 48 hours later she passed away.
a year or so later, i was home again, and my sister and i drove by my grams old house. youngest was in his car seat, and as we drove up to look he got real excited. confirming my feeling that my gram gave a little bit part of herself to him when they met. everyone else told me i was crazy, he was just mirroring my sisters and my actions. we were looking hard, so he seemed excited. (haters)
so this past weekend, while i was home, we were looking at some old photos my mom had found. lots of them in houses and yards, on beaches and in parks. one picture my youngest asks "whose house was this?" one of the 100 or so he had looked at. i took the picture and almost fell over, "Why?" i asked him, he replied he was just wondering if he had ever been there. the picture was taken in my grams yard, looking to the yard from the house, if you were going to the garage. a view my gram probably took in 4 times a day, every day, over the 20 some odd years she lived in that house.
i told him it was my grams house, and he said oh the one who died when i was a baby? and i said yes. he said nothing more...but now i know for sure.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Sgt Dominic Sacco
"Dom" or "Nick", "Nicky" if you knew him as long as I did. He was just like one of my own little brothers. Irritating, threatening and the butt of many jokes. He is my very best friend for life's younger brother. He spent so many years trying to figure out what he should do in his life, finally he had found a solution for a little bit. He joined the Army and we all chuckled a bit when we found out what capacity he was serving in, he was in tanks, blowing stuff up. His 8 year old self would have been soo proud! He served his country proudly. He really enjoyed what he did. His memorial pages are full of stories from fellow soldiers whose lives he touched.
As a younger boy he did all those things boys do, played baseball and basket ball. Played video games, rode bikes, and would on occasion, play nice with us, until he got mad. And he loved the Mets. He had a passing phase in which he thought Michael Jackson was sooo cool. But we won't talk about that out of respect.
All of a sudden, one day, he was a man. Helping my sister and I move, giving advice on men, all those things brothers do. I have 2 sisters and think of his sister as my 3rd, i have 2 younger brothers and think of him as the 3rd. That is how great they are.
He was unable to attend his sisters wedding because he was out of the country on a tour. His dad joked that he would be safe because he was in tanks. Ironiclly, he was shot by a sniper while closing the hatch, on Nov 20, 2005. Nick left behind a wife, a step daughter and a son who was not yet 6 months old, his mom and dad, his sister, and an extended group of family and friends who were fortunate enough to have had him in our lives. He was 6 days shy of his 33rd birthday.
I mourned for Nick, it seemed unreal. I mourned for his mom, I can't imagine her pain. I mourned for his son, who will only have stories of his dad in his life. Tears are forming now, but I smile when I think of how to close this tribute. I smile when I think, at least he died doing what he wanted...and I smile because you can't think of Nick without smiling.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
fast forward to Sunday. i was startled awake at 4:30 in the morning, sure I had heard the phone ring , i grabbed for it to check the caller id...nothing. so i was convinced my instincts had awakened me and eagerly waited for the phone to ring. unfortunately, my instincts were dead wrong...again. so i spent all day sunday finally catching up with paper work and went to bed (ok after watching Cheerleader Nation, but really that is just disturbing)
Monday morning up bright and early and at 7:30 the phone rings, i saunter nonchalantly over and look...i figured it was hub with something he had forgotten to tell me as he was leaving. WRONG!!!!! yeah it's my brother and they have been at the hospital since about 4 am. YEA...YEA YEA, finally. so i start to walk in circles trying to figure out what to do. do i cancel the afternoons dentist? do i try to find the oldest who stayed over a friends the night before? do i wait and see what happens? do i just wait and go this weekend? do i just say *&** it and load whoever i can find in the car and leave? all this while taking it upon myself to call the rest of the family for my brother. because, hey i am the oldest...thats my job.
anyway i remebered the oldest had football physicals on Tues morning, so i knew he wouldn't be coming. got a shower cancelled the dentist, had the younger 2 pack a change of clothes and got in the car. by 8:30 i am on the road, gassing up and grabbing the kids some breakfast. (not too shabby if i might say) trying desperately to reach my brother before i get too far, just in case it turns out to be a false alarm...as i am finishing at Sheetz, i reach him...no going back they're breaking her water. on my trek i go. completely abandonning my oldest...but hey i was almost on my own at his age...he'll survive.
now it's a 6 hour drive up there, and i am rushing. never having had an exceptionally long labor personally, i figured i might miss it, but hopefully not by much. let's just say she gets the labor from her side of the family. dropped the kids at my dads , picked up my mom and made it to the hospital by 4 pm. and proceeded to wait ...
and wait just a little longer...
FINALLY around 9:45 her mom came out and said we had a baby. then my brother came out and it was all i could do not to bawl. he says "it's so cool to look at him and see him face to face" awwwwww. so here he is....
yes he is the most perfect baby born since my youngest...and he has a full head of blonde hair. he is just too adorable. i cannot wait to get back up there and hold him and smother him with kisses.
now Tues was our wedding anniversary...and the younger 2 boys have football at 6 pm. so we stop to see the baby and mom one more time and head home. the whole way down hub keeps calling to see where i am, and ask do i want to go to dinner. i honestly would rather have been dipped in sugar and put in a pit of ants than to get back in the car after i get home and go to dinner, but i am a good wife so i say sure. only there's a catch....here's what i came home to
awww...so i am super glad i didn't yell " i am going to be in the car for 6 hours at least and you want me to get back in the car and go to dinner??!!??" at him when he called to see if i wanted to go out. a room full of roses, candles and DINNER!! he can still surprise me.
it has been a nice couple of days....
Sunday, August 06, 2006
i hate the wires in the pic, but i can't cut em down...
Friday, August 04, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
used to be a day when the mecury would rise and i would need no further excuse, hey the kids were hot. off to the pool. pack a bag, head to the pool, and claim my spot near the baby pool. where i would sit and chat and enjoy my afternoon. then something changed, my youngest got too old for the baby pool. so i would still go and sit and chat with everyone sitting at the baby pool while keeping an eye through the fence on the youngest. then last summer it happened. i was no longer needed at the pool. my neice would go and watch the youngest and all was well, but i could still go if she was busy.
this year even she doesn't need to be there, much less me. i hate it. i drop the kids off at noon and every day say i will come down for an hour before it's time to leave. but it never happens, something is waiting to be done, or phone calls to make. mom never seems to get there. i'm really bummed.
the year i was pregnant for the youngest i had tan lines that lasted until January. the only way i'm even coming close to that again is to put it in my yard. i will be a waterlogged momma next year.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
my oldest will be a junior. a junior...A JUNIOR in high school. now i know once football camp starts...BAM!!! next thing i know it's Christmas...and double BAM...it's May. my time with him is growing short and i'm not anywhwere near ready. not that i'm wishing time away...hardly. i was just talking to a mom who has a son leaving for college this week, and she said how busy this past year had been. she had really wanted to savor and enjoy his senior year and it was impossible..there wasn't enough time.
now anyone who knows me in real life will tell you, i live in like some kind of time vacuum. i say things like "wasn't that a month ago?" about things that happened in march. time just flies. and i can't control it. my son is becoming a man in front of my eyes, they all are. how can this be? where have 17 years gone?!!? it is unthinkable. and honestly...i'd trade and go through it all over again, just to have that little boy, with his green hat and his love affair with Barney, back . even for just one day.