Friday, September 29, 2006
i went to macy's yesterday. i was looking for an (ahem) undergarment of sorts to kinda nip and tuck where neccesary. i got the cutest "slim" sweater last spring on clearance and in order to ever wear it sitting down i needed some help.
i walked into the lingerie dept and was approached by "her", you know the woman who has to come up and ask you if you need any help. i was browsing the "miraclesuit", think wonderbra with iron rods down the middle, and there she was. i turned around and wanted to shrink into myself.
there she stood, all 85 pounds of her. HELLO? could you put her in juniors where she can relate, puhlease. i honest -to -God looked over at this woman and laughed...OUT LOUD. and said well i am looking for something along these lines. i don't know if she was offended that i laughed, or disgusted that i was trying to play games with nature, but she would not have been considered friendly. or maybe she was just hungry. she walks to a couple racks, and points out the different brands, types etc and mentions the current promotion. i ask her "do you know which is more comfortable?"
she manages to look down on me, even though she is not even 5 ft tall, clicks and says "No, I don't". so me being ever witty say "well obviously, you have no need for them, but which sells better". shit, she barely needed a bra. she points to the fitting room and says i am welcome to try it on if i keep my undergarments on. gee thanks. i thought i'd go into the fitting room and go all crazy in their underwear and put it right back on the rack. eeewwww. i may be chubby, but i am not nasty...witch.
i bought a flexees thing, hopefully i will have success. $45 so i can wear a $10 Polo sweater, maybe. some days i question my logic. on the plus side guess whats back "in" this fall? with the rash of nasyt 80's fashions making a comeback, there is a silver lining. BIG sweaters, yeah baby. remember those awesome Limited sweaters from high school? break em out girls..they're baaack. and don't forget your ballet flats....