they say i HAVE to love him

my oldest asks me: "Do you know where the tweezers are?"

i look at him, he glances toward my eyebrows and says:

"Oh i guess you don't"

IN Style

i went to macy's yesterday. i was looking for an (ahem) undergarment of sorts to kinda nip and tuck where neccesary. i got the cutest "slim" sweater last spring on clearance and in order to ever wear it sitting down i needed some help.

i walked into the lingerie dept and was approached by "her", you know the woman who has to come up and ask you if you need any help. i was browsing the "miraclesuit", think wonderbra with iron rods down the middle, and there she was. i turned around and wanted to shrink into myself.

there she stood, all 85 pounds of her. HELLO? could you put her in juniors where she can relate, puhlease. i honest -to -God looked over at this woman and laughed...OUT LOUD. and said well i am looking for something along these lines. i don't know if she was offended that i laughed, or disgusted that i was trying to play games with nature, but she would not have been considered friendly. or maybe she was just hungry. she walks to a couple racks, and points out the different brands, types etc and mentions the current promotion. i ask her "do you know which is more comfortable?"

she manages to look down on me, even though she is not even 5 ft tall, clicks and says "No, I don't". so me being ever witty say "well obviously, you have no need for them, but which sells better". shit, she barely needed a bra. she points to the fitting room and says i am welcome to try it on if i keep my undergarments on. gee thanks. i thought i'd go into the fitting room and go all crazy in their underwear and put it right back on the rack. eeewwww. i may be chubby, but i am not nasty...witch.

i bought a flexees thing, hopefully i will have success. $45 so i can wear a $10 Polo sweater, maybe. some days i question my logic. on the plus side guess whats back "in" this fall? with the rash of nasyt 80's fashions making a comeback, there is a silver lining. BIG sweaters, yeah baby. remember those awesome Limited sweaters from high school? break em out girls..they're baaack. and don't forget your ballet flats....

marital bliss

ever wonder what might run through your head if you were awakened at 2:30 AM, by the tap tap tapping of your husband on the laptop...in bed? (who says romance is dead?)

you will imagine slamming his head with said laptop, then have a mental picture of him running around forever with the laptop closed over his head. if nothing else that image will make you smile. it's way fun, try it once.

blech..scuse me. i'll be back soon. i am sick and whiny. if you caught either of the 2 posts i wrote then deleted. you already know that. there is a lot of negative stuff going on right now, and it has me bummed. and writing it out only makes it worse. but this makes me smile....be back with flowers and sunshine soon.

it's hard to be humble

when you've got such a looker for a kid, doesn't he clean up good? and his g/f is a cutie too, a cutie who closed her eyes for both pics

too busy to think of a title

but i had to jot this down, i've got lots to tell ya later. (i know you'll be on pins and needles waiting....)

did you ever wonder what happens if, say for example, when you start pumping gas the price reads $2.39, and while you are pumping they change the price to $2.35? let me ease your mind, you pay the higher price, but if you make a stink they give you a free coffee.

seeing as i only paid about 40 cents more for gas, i actually saved 60 cents. woohoo, go me.

got bit in the arse

throughout my life, i have listened to all genres of music. as a wee girl i danced to the bee gees, and mimicked mick jagger (quite well i might add). i fell for duran duran, and did the teeny bopper thing. became a hair metal chic, BEFORE headbangers ball. would chill out to kenny g. you name it, i listened. to anything EXCEPT country.

i could stands for no country. it made my ears turn black, and i would hack up a lung if forced to listen to it. sourtheren rock? no problem...johnny cash? problem. i even mocked a friend of mine who "turned" country, after she and her hub began taking 2 step classes in the early 90's. unfortunately i mocked them to my hub, who has also been the recepient of ridicule over his ability to tolerate the c & w.

so i don't need to tell you what comes next, do i? i can't help it. i fell for it. shania twain singing her heart out did it first. and every once in a while i wouldn't hit the seek button quick enough and not hate the next song so much. it was the beginning of the end. but it's fun, usually. it makes me laugh and cry. and sometimes i think, "wow i could be THAT guy, life ain't so bad" it makes me tap my toes, and sing out loud.

i managed to hide this affair from my hub and kids for quite some time. i knew the ridicule would be never ending. i even hid a shania twain cd in a kidz bop case so noone, but the kid who couldn't read would ever find it. i was doing ok....then it happened. the pressure was too much. scanning past songs i wanted to sing, pretending i didn't want to go see brooks and dunn last year. i cracked, a couple months ago hub and i were in the car, that song "1970 something" was on. i had to stop and listen, i tried to pretend like i just liked THAT song. but "live like you were dying" came on after, and i was toast.

it hasn't stopped yet...

hub in a girlie voice (which i do not have): "i haaaate country music" , "country music is sooo gay", "can you believe people listen to that?", "i'll NEVER listen to country"

and my personal fav......"you are such a redneck geek"...but it was deserving when i said it. little did i know my wit would be used agianst me one day.

fear not i did attempt to put the blame on him....he moved me to this God forsaken neck of the woods, where there is sometimes nothing else to listen to. plus HIS kids have completely taken over the cds in the car. leaving me not much option when forced to drive FOR WORK, hour after hour after hour. if he would have gotten me sirius sooner this never would have happened. it was listen to country or go insane from the silence.

i am hoping the novelty of making me eat crow wears off this decade. i'm thinking it might not.

who needs a calender

this was all i needed to see.....in a month, that blob of green would be snow. and anyone who knows lake effect snow, knows that blob. if that were not enough, this morning here is where i found the cat ....snuggled up on the rag bag in the utility room, you know the room that houses the furnace AND the dryer. she may not be too smart, but she remebers the warmest spot in the house. and has staked her claim early.

spelling test update

you know that spelling test from friday? we got it home yesterday. his estimate of "maybe 2 wrong" was a little off. 10 out of 19....for a boomin 58% oh yeah.

the worst part, that isn't his lowest grade ever on a spelling test. last year a 40% was acheived. woohoo

why do they even need spelling? computers have spell check? wish me luck this week....

and lets just get it out in the open

i know, i know , i know. my 'Skins are lettin me down. i am really pisssed. and if Joe Gibbs stumbles upon this blog i just want to say.....

WTF?????!!!!!! i don't care how much Al Saunders cost....if he can't call the plays to win the game, give him the boot. AAARRRRGGGGGG...my dreams of post season are diminishing....QUICKLY

the Amish are coming

the Amish people from down the road stopped by this weekend. they asked their what is becoming an annual fall question. did we mind if they came to pick the apples and pears from our trees. my answer was what it has been in the past. "go right ahead"

i am very conflicted in my feelings for the Amish people. not to say they ever mean harm to anyone. they're quiet and quaint. and i LOVE the sound of their horse and buggies, (but not to be stuck behind them when i'm running late) esp on a Sunday when one of them is having a shindig. they go down the road in front in the morning, and straggle out all day. it always amazes me how many there can be some weekends. we chuckle at the guy who leaves last, after dark with the lanterns on the front.

the first year they asked about the trees, i figured they would get maybe 20 bushels. i only have like 8 trees a couple are half dead. and i didn't care if they took them. one less thing i have to avoid with the lawnmower. our trees are old and the fruit is small, occasionally i'll grab a couple pears if they look good. but usually they fall and are critter food for winter.

was i wrong....they FILLED 2 entire flat buggies. i had no idea how much was on these trees. i never felt like such a lazy spoiled person in my life. one afternoon of work and they had gotten enough fruit to last their family most of the winter. which is where my complex feelings come into play. are they trying to be smug?

i mean really, do they look down on us, laugh at us, or are they truly as grateful as they appear. do they honestly think of us as their neighbors? or is it all a scam? do they intend to make us feel lazy and spoiled, or are they as pure as the image appears.

i know alot of the Amish in some parts of the country really milk it. like they can't have a phone in the house, but they put one in a shed in the yard. and some are loaded. some have more money than they could spend in a lifetime. but the people around here are as true to the beliefs as is possible in todays world, and they work hard. but i work hard too , so why do i feel like they view me as "lesser" than they are, simply because i have conveniences?

i know a family who left the Amish just recently. one day i am going to get the nerve up to ask. until then i'll smile and wave, and wonder.

looking forward to Monday..

seriously, all week i kept saying i couldn't wait until friday, really just get me to monday. i don't know what i was thinking. there is football tonight, tommorrow i have to get oldest to school by 8:30..for what else? football, when he is done with that i have to take him shopping for a suit to wear to a wedding next weekend. but that needs to be finished and i have to be on the road to the younger 2 football games by 3:00. which i won't get home from until 9 at the earliest. sunday we have a basket raffle for midget football, 10 am until probably 4.

PLUS i feel like the worst mother on earth right now, youngest just was not getting his spelling words this week. we have written them, sung them, chanted them. spelled them over and over and over. i honestly don't know what more i could have done. today is his test and i have a BAD feeling about it. and i hate sending him out feeling like he is unprepared. but i did the best i could. keep your fingers crossed, this one could be ugly.

hey and have a nice weekend.....someone may as well.

a little Jeopardy this evening

I'll take Brain Dead for $200 Alex....

the answer is : 376

the question : How many times will i go to the store and forget to buy a new can opener?

legends debunked

if you reside in PA, you may have heard of the parallel parking myth. this legend has been passed down from person to person over the years. rumor has it that when taking your road test you are given 3 attempts to parallel park.

i took the oldest for his road test today, and let me assure you...there is no truth to this myth. and my house has the same # of licensed drivers as it did yesterday. :( poor guy, but it's his own dam fault. he didn't want to practice last night..he was sure you got 3 tries. lesson learned.

************

long as i'm talking about him, i gotta tell you how proud he made me the other day. yes he irritates and belittles his brothers constantly. and has on occasion made me consider hard drugs, but there is another side. he has a starting role for the one defense they run on varsity. generally once you start either side of the ball it is assumed you will not play JV. the coaches asked him to play JV, he was disgusted. in truth it was more like they needed him. he is a good kicker and punter, and they wanted him to continue to get reps on offense. and he is hardly the only jr or sr on JV.

so i play mom, and say to him..."just go play, have fun. you aren't going to get any offensive play on varsity this year, you may as well" so we went to the game on Monday. ok first of all he did great, caught a td, ran for a couple first downs. and i could see he was having fun, laughing, screwing with coaches and so on. he wasn't playing any d, and after every series he would take the time to talk to the underclassmen and explain to them what went right or help them fix their errors. once he was getting a reverse, and he was OPEN. it was 6, but the qb (a freshman) let go too soon. my son walked up to him after the play, expalined what went wrong and patted him on the helmet. he can be a good kid after all.

Writing in Math

this was an actual problem on my 3rd graders homework. MATH homework....

Writing In Math

all the numbers in 8,999 are greater than all the numbers in 24,205. explain in words why 24,205 is the larger number.

my youngest never being one to be flustered says.. "Ummm, because God made it that way"

no wonder he has so much trouble with some school work. what the hell stupid waste of time is that question?

ok maria...move on already

i know, i know...today is sept 12, and it's time to move on. believe me i have other things i was debating writing about. like it's a good thing the giants and cowboys also lost this weekend, or how proud i am of my oldest right now. but in rereading my sept 11 post, i realized there is more i need to say.

i am angry

yes, i went to bed that horrible night and thanked God that myself, and everyone i loved were safe and sound. i was thankful for the fact that i had lived to the ripe old age of 31, before i knew that kind of fear or terror. there are children in the world who have this in their lives every day. i was proud to be an American, and i wouldn't let a terrorist take that away. EVER...but my eyes were opened

even someone as jaded and hard hearted as myself, had become all warm and cozy. maybe that scared me more than anything. while i am not going to be a member of some "society", where all things government are evil. i am no longer all smiles and sunshine.

in the months that followed, as more and more information came out, and it was inarguably proven that 9/11 should never had been allowed to happen, my discontent grew. and i feel that way to this day. while i am very lucky to be an american with all the priveleges we are afforded, i am also very wary. and very angry.

my sept 11 story began on memeorial day of 2001 and most likely came to a close the following june. we were all hearing about advanced security, things like this would never be allowed to happen again. our government was doing everything to save us from the evils of the world. but were they?

in june of 02 i took the kids to Disney world. departing from orlando intl airport i stood in line with 3 sunburned children. dressed in disney apparel, laden with mounds of disney crap. even had a disney suitcase that i had been forced to purchase to lug some of it home. i watched warily as several single men checked in for my flight, some with nothing more than a small checked bag, or carry on breif case. it was something we all did in the first year or so after. i also looked over to the side where the "security" was supposedly watching for individuals they felt needed extra screening. who was chosen for the screening? you got it....me.

this was not the random "you're ticket was selected" screening, this was an actual security officer trying to determine who looked most at risk. this was a joke. the more i thought about it the angrier i got. they were not trying to find terrorists, they were just trying to make it look like they were.

i will never forget the victims of sept 11, i will never forget the fear. and i will never let go of that discontent.

(and i promise to move forward :) )

Sept 11th, 2001

my Sept 11 story actually starts in May of 2001. we had taken the kids to NYC for Memorial day weekend. we stayed in the hotel located in the WTC, i think it was a sheraton, but i can't remember for sure now. we took the kids to the observation deck one day, but it was overcast and you couldn't see much. we also went to the Statue of Liberty, and i had wanted to take a pic of the kids with the skyline i loved so much in the background. but it was a dreary day and you couldn't even see an inkling of Manhattan. next time i said to myself, i'll get the picture next time.

Sept 11, itself was a beautiful day here. the older2 kids were at school and we had taken the youngest out to a field to tag some trees. (we wholesale trees) i got a text on my phone from a friend informing me a plane had hit the WTC. assuming it was a small commuter plane or something, i said almost jokingly to my hub, "Can you believe a plane could hit the WTC?" we wondered how you could make such an error. a few minutes later our phones rang almost simaltaneously, his mom, my dad. his mom was telling him another plane had hit, my dad asking me did i know where my sister was (at the time her job had her travelling ALOT, and she always connected through Logan). they both told us it was bad. the second plane had hit on live tv. it was looking like it was intentional.

not being ones to panic, even we were getting nervous. and i couldn't get through any longer on my cell to try to make sure my sister was not in the air. so many of us heard those words that day...."Circuits are busy" we quickly finished up, gave instructions to the guys and got into the car. just as we were pulling away we heard that the Pentagon had also been hit. it was then that we knew, this was bad. a few minutes later, i remember i was turning the corner at 210 and 422, we were informed that one of the towers had fallen. i felt sick inside that the city i loved so much had been changed forever.

it was a 45 minute drive back home, and at one point we heard a breif blurb that actually mattered more to us than anything else. a plane had been reported to have crashed in sw PA. that is when panic took over. Where? When? How? trying frantically to get throught to anyone whose phone #s we knew. we live 25 miles from Shanksville. that was the hardest part, making it that last 20-25 minutes until we got home and saw for ourselves it had not been our town, or our children's school.

got the kids from school, and as reports were coming in that the plane had been from Logan i worried about my sister. she usually flew to Seattle and she usually flew Northwest, i didn't think she was going to be away that week, but i wasn't satisfied until i finally heard from my step mom around noon that my sister had gotten through to them and she was safe.

later in the afternoon there was a noise that broke the eerie silence that surrounded us. it was a sound i will never forget. unmistakably the sound of approaching military helicopters. i made an excuse for the kids to come sit next to me and waited. i can honestly say i was never, nor have i ever been so freightened in my life. i didn't know where they were coming from, i could only hear them. finally i saw them and realized what they were. they were flying so low i thought they might land on the roof. that for me, was what i will always remember about that day. and i hope to never feel so terrified again.

in the days that followed we watched CNN until we couldn't see. we couldn't sleep or even think straight. but gradually life resumed and we carried on. i was sitting on my deck one night after air travel resumed and saw a plane in the sky. when i saw that plane i realized my life had been changed forever. i would never see that sight the same way again.

I for one will "Never Forget"

hooky

being self employed AND a stay at home mom has alot of advantages. when i need to be mom, i don't have to call in to work, and my schedule is usually what i make it to be. while my job title runs something like bookkeeperofficemanagerpayrollclerkerrandrunner etc (you get the idea), if i were to do it efficiently (i tried that once...yuck), it would take me approximately 10 hours every week. not exactly oppressive.

ever since the youngest started school all day i started to feel like i should be doing more. i feel guilty if i'm sitting doing nothing in the middle of the day. so i try to keep busy. doing things for school, around the house whatever. so today i woke up and began thinking of all the things i "needed" to get done today. i even decided to forego the gym, i figured i would rather accomplish more around the house in that 90 minutes.

just as i'm about to get started on tearing apart the room i just moved my office out of, my hub calls. just to say hi , oh and they're going fishing today. WHOA, am i a moron? why am i worried about getting payroll done, starightening the new office, catching up on some bookkeeping, and ripping out carpet. while he is going fishing??!!?? WHY?? i ask you...why?

so i did what a smart girl would do....

got a shower got dressed, even put on makeup. got in the good car (not my suv, the sports car), put the top down and went shopping. not just shopping, oh no...i went shopping for NOTHING. i didn't need anything, i was just looking maybe for some shoes. went to bed bath and beyond and bought stuff for the new bathrooms, went to Michaels and got some crafty things, went to lunch with a friend who lives by the mall. and we had (gasp) wine ...WITH LUNCH. then we went shoe shopping together.

and do you know what? it was awesome. and i got home and payroll was still there and filing can be done later, and i hadn't even missed any calls. take that.

and tonite at the oldest's football game...we're tailgating. something hub never wants to do, because he is so anti social. you'll recognize me...i'm wearing my new shoes.

PROOF

i have felt like the only adult in my house for years now. yesterday i got the proof i needed. while waiting in Charlotte for his connecting flight to Hilton head who misses his plane?.....Because he lost track of time playing poker online!!!!!! point, set match

enter at your own risk

today is the day my hub left for his cousin's wedding. oh yeah you might remember, it's in Hilton Head, on the beach. parties with friends from years ago. and i was going to go, but things just didn't work out. too much was going on at school for the kids, and my sister could only come a couple days. plus she does have alot on her plate at work right now. and i had noone but my MIL to cover for the time she wouldn't be here. the last time i attempted to leave my MIL in charge was the last. so make a long sob story short, hubs just left for the beach and here i sit.

garrrr i am bummed. i wanted to go more than he does. he has no choice though, he's in the wedding. soooo the point of all this? oh yeah the POINT....

beware.... i promised myself i would use this time to get a lot of my little half finished projects, DONE. so if i don't make an appearance over the next couple of days hopefully it means i am busy busy busy, painting, cleaning and moving furniture. going to open house at 3 schools, and football on fri night and sat evening. catching an awesome ohio state game on Sat ( at least part of it, i hope), and vegging in front of my TV on Sunday watching the foolsball.

in reality i'll probably just be feeling sorry for myself.....

am i so transparent?

on Monday oldest and I were discussing curfew. i said 10 was absolutely the latest i would allow. usually it's 9:30 on school nights, but he had napped earlier in the day because it was a holiday. i feel i'm being generous, he argues.

the child is an arguer, he always has been. if anyone was born to instill change, it's him. i am just hoping he puts his powers to good. in all honesty, this kid could go either way. he is the definition of alpha male, and any attempt to instill that thing called modesty have been dismissed.

so in the discussion of curfew, i said to him "You WILL be in this house by 10" his reply to me is "Or what? You're going to ground me? My life is school and football anyway, what are you gonna take away?"

am i more incensed because he is arguing, or because i know he's right? so thinking quickly on my feet i reply " well we'll just see when i let you get your liscense". he is eligible on the 11th to get his drivers license. his answer to this?

"you want me to be able to drive, more than i do anyway. you'll let me".

foiled again, can this kid read my mind? but i am not giving up all hope yet...he was home by 9:55.

the end of an era

remember the night you stumbled into the bathroom half asleep, didn't turn on the light, trying to be as quiet as humanly possible to avoid waking anyone up? and what happens? you slip on a bath toy that was discarded from the tub earlier and overlooked. making you yelp first in shock, i mean what is this slimy thing on the floor? halfway down you realize it's baby mickey's wash rag. and you remember how much fun you had earlier in the evening fetching it 7890 times, much to your little ones glee. and hey, the fun still ain't over, as you crack your elbow on the sink, and bump your head on the towel rack...almost pee your pants, i mean you were going in for a reason. and teach most of your neighborhood a string of curse words one may never had previously imagined could work together.

how about the header you took out of the shower that day, because you had been too lazy to bend over and pick up the boat that was laying in there. it showed you who was boss, grab a towel, go to dry your hair BAM...now that's a pretty sight.

what did you do those times? if you were me you dreamed of 2 things, 1) the day you had your own bathroom..because noone would be allowed to bring toys in moms tub (hah! as if) and 2) the day there were no bath toys cluttering the bathroom.

well my friends my time has come. while doing the bathroom over, i took the shelf that housed the bath toys and placed it on the deck. the shelf is not going back into the bathroom, so i told youngest yesterday to pick out the ones he still used and we would keep them in a smaller bucket. he looked at me and he looked at the toys, he said "you know , i don't think i need them anymore. i usually take showers now and i never use them."

you could hear my heart break.....

i dreamed of this day for so long. when i was scrubbing "magic" bath finger paint off the walls, or picking up all 235 species Noah had on the ark. the day when the plumber had to pull an entire army guy, one leg, arm torso and head at a time from that curly part of the pipe. and as i sat with hair dryer to legos that i told them wouldn't float, or poured half the tub one cup at a time into the playland that would never stay suctioned to the side of the bath anyway. the days when i stood up from the tub aching because my back does not like to stay in that position for quite so long. and of course on the times i walked into the bathroom to see 15 years of bath toy accumulation scattered everywhere.

now thats it here, i have to admit i will miss it. those carefree evenings scrubbing dirty faces and that great smell their hair had when i took them out. even when they were a little older hearing them play and splash, hearing boat noises or guys fighting in the river. i'm sad to see it go.

now if i could just get them to learn to keep the water in the shower.....

weekend in pictures

whole lotta early morning, driving, RAIN and football. why can't high schools get domes? i am off to attempt to raise my core temp in a HOT bath....for the record..oldest won, middle guy lost, youngest won.

it's back..and double the fun

arggg...second day of school, youngest hands over his back pack...inside, waiting, lurking, taunting...the spelling book.

long gone are the days when the teacher would print the words up on a sheet and hand them out, oh NOOOO that would make my life a wee bit simpiler. as was the case last year, teacher puts the words on the board and the kids copy them into the spelling notebook. not a problem for most 3rd grade children.

i said most

my child is, of course, the exception to the rule. he simply cannot pay attention long enough to jot the words down. last year we had 10, this year ....20 . because i am kind of good friends with his teacher last year, i had an in. he would give me printed lists for like 2 months in advance. not that it helped much as far as actually passing the spelling tests, but at least we actually knew what the words were.

on tuesday i opened the notebook to find 5 (yes FIVE) words written down. i asked was he sure that was all the words. why yes mother, i mean what did i think he couldn't managae to copy some words into a notebook. silly me. at football practice one of the other moms, who is familiar with my spelling struggles, says to me..."How did you like that spelling list?"

cautiously i ask, umm yeah, so how many words did your son bring home? 20, was her guarded answer...fearing i may do her bodily damage over my sons inability to write down words. so she runs home and grabs me the list so i can copy them down, not only is he missing 15 of the words, but he has 2 of the 5 he copied down wrong. wooo boy it's going to be a long year