can you smell it?

if you look and listen closely, you can see it. Spring is so close, I can almost taste it. Lots of little things, birds chirping early in the morning, patches of grass on the warm side of hills. There is the drip, drip, dripping of snow melting, even if the sun isn't out. The patch of mud or 2, and of course the daylight. It seems like it's been forever since it was light when my middle guy catches the bus, but once again the light is creeping back on early.

Even though just last night, I was thinking I am so tired of being COLD. I long for the days of heat like this
one. This morning I was given the ultimate reminder that Spring is closer than I dare dream. The very unmistakable stench of skunk. And it never smelled so good.

Two of a Kind

I love, love ,love my car. I do, I love the sunroof, and the heated seats. I love the fact it's got a Hemi, just so I can say.."Yeah, it's got a hemi". I love it's color (blue), and it's dvd player to occupy the chillins on a long drive. I love it's kick ass stereo so I can sing along. I love that my kids can each have a row to themselves should they choose, and I can fit more crap in it than I should be allowed. This morning I realized why I love my car so much...

My oldest's car needed gas, and he was running late. I told him he could take my car to school if he wanted. At school there is a rule that your car must be backed into it's spot. I often wonder if they made that decision after seeing the havoc that 75 16-18 year olds attempting to back out at one time was, or if they were smart enough to know ahead of time. Anyway, he declined my offer to use my vehicle. His reason was he hates to back it in or out of anywhere, because it's "all ass".

We are two of a kind

L A Z Y

Is laziness one of those seven deadly sins? I really hope not, because if it is, I am doomed. All I can think of is that movie Seven, you know, Brad Pitt. I keep invisioning him walking into my living room and finding me surrounded by dirty laundry, dishes, the Nintendo DS, laptop, and several frozen food cartons, and having some witty remark about my surroundings.

Something maybe regarding my spreading thighs or widening ass being so heavy, I couldn't escape from the growing piles of crap, and merely gave up my struggle only to be completely overpowered, and ignored by my family of slobs, who just thought one of the cats was playing in the dirty towels.

You know, or something similar.

Man I CANNOT get motivated. I don't know if it's because my home looked like nuclear war took place in it, when I returned from my long weekend of sun. Yes 10 days ago..I gotta stop milking it. Or maybe I'm just feeling kinda funky. My excuse for not going to the gym is the cold and snow. I just can't bear the thought of venturing out, unless absloutely neccesary. I should have kept my 40 bucks I paid for Feb, and slipped it into my friend, Catch A Wave slots at the casino. My excuse for doing nothing IN the house. To be quite honest, I ain't got one.

Like I said LAZY. I swear I am starting next week off right. Back to the gym Monday morning, and cleaning house this weekend. Wish me luck, I think the boy's socks are taunting me.

17 years ago

Seventeen years ago, right this minute in fact, I was most likely crying my eyes out. I was scared and confused, unsure of what the future would bring, How would I manage? How would I make ends meet? What about my plans? WHY GOD? WHY?

ok, I KNEW why, but it still wasn't fair ( cmn i was 19)

I spent the next 6 or 7 hours in tears, throwing up, and in more pain then I ever imagined my body could be in. I was poked and prodded, my long standing relationship with modesty was chucked out the window. I had known this day was coming, in fact I was already 15 days past my due date. But nothing could have prepared me for that day. I had alot of emotions that day, most of all I was scared.

Then something happened, amid all the confusion and pushing and crying, my son was born. I heard his first of many wails of indignation, and KNEW everything would be alright. I knew before I even laid my eyes on him. The rest of my life would be fine. How could anything ever be wrong with this little screaming creature in my life?

Seventeen years ago today I fell in love for the first time in my life....

Can you blame me?

is it over yet?

How do you know when it's February? It was 23 degrees out yesterday and I washed my car, and wore a sweat shirt outside. That's sad. When 23 is feeling like a heatwave, and the possibility of mid 40's makes you giddy, you know it's Feb.

February and I have a long standing, love/hate relationship. It loves to see me suffer and I hate it for it. But really Feb is one of those months, like May and August. I can't wait for May to end, I love the first weeks of the kids vacation, money is always in good supply and there is a whole summer of laziness ahead of me. August, I love it's arrival, football is within weeks, and school starts at the end of the month. But I dread the end of it, summer goes with it and I hate to see summer end.

Then we have February, it is the month in which I first became a mom, my oldest will be 17 (!!!!!!!!) on the 20th. You would think that would leave a nice warm soft fuzziness in my heart for it. Not really, all February really is, is 28 days of waiting for it to end. The end of Feb is the beginning of Spring, at least in my mind. Work will be in full swing before the end of March, and I am always ready for that. My darling husband will be out from underfoot, and cash will flow. It's also the last of the bitter weather, and I am forever ready for that to end.

I guess if I were more of an optimist I would enjoy Feb, what with all the bad going away with it's departure, but that never really was my style. I'll just swallow it like a bitter pill and Thank God Above it is not one of those 31 day months. I will hide in my snow cave and wait for March (chorus of angels singing). Smiling from ear to ear when it gets here.

The vaca that didn't want to end

Yea!!!! I'm FINALLY home. I say finally because I didn't think I would ever get here. What a great time though.

My sister and I had a blast, the sun was hot, the rum flowed like water, the eye candy delish. In fact we had such a good time, we felt a need to continue to donate money into their casino. We even laughed about that by the time the trip was over. Visited the straw market in Nassau, they have more knock off bags than I have ever seen in one place in my life. Little Ms can't make a decision is the proud new owner of 3 Kate Spade bags, I managed to control myself and only give a home to one.

However all good and warm things come to an end, and so this happy feeling does as well. We were leaving on Sunday, and I went to the airport a little early with my sister, her flight left earlier than mine. I had a quick jump to Ft Lauderdale, followed by a flight direct to Pittsburgh. Only when I landed in Ft L, my flight was cancelled!?!?!



ummm what? there was no snow, no rain, no nothing...there WAS however, a mechanical issue, and I guess no other planes in all of the eastern us to replace the broken one. After waiting for a stand by position on a flight to DC, that was an impossible dream, i got a free night in the Embassy Suites in Ft Lauderdale. Which may have been a bit more enjoyable had it not been drizzling, and I had had someone to chill with. Of course i forgot to add that I had nothing...NO THING with me. I had a camera, a comb, and my book. Plus because the casino had been so stingy I also had about 100 bucks, and a maxed out credit card.



WOO HOO PAR TAY.



So i got cozy with some sushi from this palce near the hotel and watched Star Wars, I couldn't even use my phone too much, my charger was in my checked bag.



Got up the next morning and headed to FLL, this time I had to go to Charlotte then another flight to Pburg, and another quick jumper to the city near my home. Get to Charlotte (home of a Jamba Juice..mmmmm), and got onto the worst ( although thankfully short) flight of my flying life.



I was in the middle seat.which I totally despise. I am a wee bit claustraphobic, and sometimes all of a sudden I'll just feel like there is no air and I literally have to restrain myself from jumping up and running. Which may be frowned on, what with all the heightened security these days. Being seated in the middle of a PACKED flight, on an older plane, next to a very nice, but very overweight gentleman with a nasal issue. NO AIR



Got to Pburg, and at this point I had been in airports for oh about 17 years. Ok maybe it was more like 20 of the past 30 hours, but still, I was happy to be almost home. Next flight is a quick 35 minutes....35 wee little minutes on a small plane that will probably have 10 other people on board. yea for air.



Turns out there were 4 of us, get on the plane...only the plane doesn't want to go, get off the plane, wait 30 minutes, get on the plane again. Now were cookin, headed to the runway...oh no not so quick. Turn around ...get off the plane (I swear I am not making this up).



At this point i ask the girl at the desk if there is a flight available to another close city, ok first she says to me "Did you check a bag?" why yes I checked a bag..."We won't separate a passenger from a bag." was her reply, my retort? "You separated me from my bag yesterday, no problem. I don't even know where my bag is"



she huffs...I swear she HUFFS and does the eye roll and pecks at the computer. "well we have one in 15 minutes, but you have to go through DC" see this is my life, the night before I would have killed to get to DC. Last night if I could have gotten to Dc I could have been home. But NOOOO last night I couldn't beg my way to DC...today I can go to DC and then head back home again. Because I might want to spend another 6 years on planes and in airports.



At this point we were down to 3, one of the passengers decided to cut his losses and just head back home. So myself and a very nice woman and her daughter sat and waited, and waited .....and waited just a wee bit more. Finally an hour and a half later we board the plane. While we are waiting to take off I peek out the window and see my bag...oh sweet bag how I missed you, being placed on board. I joked at least by having to wait so long, my bag caught up to me.



So we quick head home and into our very small airport and go to get our bags, their bags come through....and thats it. I wanted to cry, i even peeked under the flappy thing the bags come from to see if anyone was there to get my bag that I KNOW was on the plane. No one....so I go to the desk....no one. So i ask the TSA guy, can I back through and tell them I need my bag.



WHOA....THAT IS NOT ALLOWED.



Just to give you an idea of how small this airport really is, the guy who works the desk, also de ices the planes, AND handles baggage. Ok Rite Aid is bigger than this airport, however I could NOT enter the gate area without a TICKET.



BUT my BAAAGGGG.



If I could just wait a few minutes someone will be out. Only 15 minutes later no one was out..so I left. Iwas tired and hungry and missed my kids and was 20 minutes from my house and just wanted to go home.



At 10:30 pm my phone rings..the airport wants to know why I didn't stop at the desk to check on my bag.



I had no strength to answer, I just told them weather depending I would be down for it the next day. Weather has been icky and I still don't have it.



So ends the vaca that didn't want to end.....but at least I made it home and can laugh about it now, and I still have tan lines!!!! wooo

mirror mirror

Mirrors are something there are not a lot of in my house. I don't even own a full length, and the mirror in my bathroom hangs at neck level. I manage just fine this way. I have never been one to scrutinize my appearance nipping, tucking, starightening, etc. My clothes are boring casual, I don't need one.

I know my body is not in the shape it once was. But I accept it and know I am healthy, and exercise regularly, and try to eat well most of the time. Then every once in awhile I go somewhere and catch a glimpse of something I am normally able to avoid. Like my upper arms.

And I want to crawl into a hole and hide.....

I wonder if I would work harder if I had a 3 way mirror in my home, or would I just lose my mind? I'm thinking the mind would go, it's on the brink the way it is.

sorry

I have wondered for a good portion of my adult life if our God was a vengeful God. My husband says no, and if I were him, I would be inclined to agree. I just keep telling him God hasn't gotten him yet, but he's due....ooohh baby is he due.

It was proven to me again that God may just be a wee bit on the vengeful side. Literally, as I was reading my last post there after I had published it, you know when I kinda said "ha ha I get to go away", oldest cell phone rings, not once or twice or even three times. It rings incessantly, I hear him switching from call to call, I know what's going on already, but I was in denial.

School is closed again tomorrow. I will never learn.

hey Mon

DUDE...I'm freakin freezing. Gar I HATE winter. I told my darlin dear husband on Fri that this winter thing, it's clearly not working for me, and he has precisely 9 years in which to make enough cash and sell most of what we own so that I may rest my growing ass somewhere warm for 7 or 8 months a year.

He has agreed to comply, which leads me to believe 1 of 2 things....

1. old people really do not like cold, as much as he loves snowmobiling, he too as he ages, wishes for snow without cold

or

2. i have super Jedi powers i wasn't aware of all these years.

The lakes are beginning to freeze, so my snow should not be so bad from here on out (knock on wood), and I really have no business whining cause I am heading to Bahamas in 48 hours for a long weekend with my one sister, leaving the male species to fend for themselves while I sport some flip flops.

It's ok to hate on me , if you want. I'll understand.

RIP

I had this long post in my head all day an ode to February so to say. Then it happened.

After struggling through spelling homework for 45 minutes, my youngest was clearly finished. I sent him to get his bath and get ready for bed. Before the tub water even began running I hear a wail of

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

I go to the room, ready to break up whatever arguement is escalating and there is the youngest sobbing, not just sobbing..SOBBING.

*sniffle* "m m my f f fish is deaddddd"

why God? why tonight? He was tired to begin with, couldn't this wait for a night when he wasn't already cranky?

I explain to him in my best mommy voice that most goldfish live for just a couple of months, his are like almost 5 years old. if they were people they would probably be 200 by now. This does not help matters, not one little bit. The wailing continues.

He also has a thing about his fish, yeah we've been through this 5 other times. We have to bury them, in the flower bed between the trees, near the pond. Only there's currently 2 feet of snow in the flower bed, between the trees, near the pond. So I mentioned maybe we didn't have to bury this one.

*sniffle* "but he'll be loonneeelyyyyy"

Do not open the foil packet in the ziploc bag in my freezer.

Unless you want some sushi.