look out Seattle

you're going down

stinky boys and football

ARRGGGHHHH New Year, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. New Year = a hella lotta work. I have been avoiding it since we got home from vaca, but the time has come. Nothing like the added pressure of KNOWING it has to done on time this year, if there is any hope of us receiving some financial aid and keeping me from selling a kidney before the oldest completes his secondary education.

Only that kid could pick a major that somehow makes his tuition double what the average undecided kid will pay. He is his father's son.

However, on a lighter note, this was overheard this morning after I noticed the youngest has been in the same pj's since Christmas morning, and insisted he bathe.

"Oh my God...I DO smell, quick smell me mom"

I am so proud right now I could bust.

****************************************

Oh yeah and GO SKINS.....with a win against the effn Cowboys we are playoff bound BABY!!!!! wooo

Californication

we have been Californiaized, it was fun, I am tired. Originally our plan for this years vacation was the sunny warm beaches of Mexico, unfortunately our neice does not have a passport, nor are we able to obtain one for her. There is some silly rule about PARENTS having to do that. Something about taking minors out of the country without parental consent nonsense, jeez. She will be 18 next August, and we contemplated attempting to work with her mother in an effort to get her a passport, but decided it probably would just be quicker to wait until she can just get her own, because any of my in laws are crazy that way.

So we decided to do something that would not involve a) leaving the neice home by herself while the rest of us frolicked on some foreign beach, or b) being forced to leave her in some strange country, because while she is free to go anywhere it seems the issue would be actually getting her back in. We picked the closest thing to Mexico we could find...California.

It was great, we actually left a day and a half earlier than expected because nasty weather was due on our original departure date. Of course when i tried to change our tickets I was told to try back later, no weather emergency had been declared and the cost would be almost $300 per ticket to switch them at that time. My husband calls and 5 minutes later has us leaving at 8 the next morning with no additional cost....it's times like that I remember how he conned me into spending the rest of my life with him.

So we arrived in San Francisco and ended up 8 days later in San Diego. And we saw it all in between. It was great, we even ventured into Tijuana for an afternoon. My children were awestruck, to say the least. The oldest wants to "have his birthday party there", and the 14 year old was offered a shot of Tequila at lunch. You can't put a price on memories like that.

BIG PROPS to Southwest, we flew out on Dec 23rd, and I never saw an airline run so smoothly amid so much chaos. So after my disaster last year , I was a happy camper.

While it was a great vacation, it was not relaxing, 8 days 5 different hotels, 3 cities, a couple amusement parks, more National Parks than I can remember, well worth it, but it's one of those vacations that have me dreaming of a vacation. Next year I am going to the beach and not moving for a week.

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

I have many a tale of Christmas woe. Who with children doesen't?

There was the year my sister and I were kicking and cursing at a Little Tykes pick up truck at 4 am. That was also the year of "WAY TOO MANY gifts". I was storing them in a house we had rented, but had none living in, it snowed and I had to keep driving back and forth at all hours of the night. In my pre Christmas delusion I was sure "there weren't that many gifts". I was WRONG

Then there was the year when I thought I was GOOD, I had one week left. And youngest was in pre school 4 days a week. My plan was to wrap all that week to avoid my usual Christmas Eve wrap fest. Who knew everyone in the house, including moi, would be stricken by a flu that would almost kill us. Needless to say the wrapping? Again my poor sister and I sat up all night.

Then my favorite? Because of cats and children, and the fact that I grow trees, so I am always the absolute last person on earth to put up a tree. I planned on putting up the tree and wrapping the weekend prior. Then a ton of snow fell in NY and the husband and I ditched everything for a weekend of snow mobiling. And I hurt my back...BAD. My poor sister arrives and has to assume my role, becuase I am useless. There is a picture of her somewhere hacking at the top of a too tall tree with a steak knife. With sap running down her arm.

It's no wonder she never wants to come to my house anymore, and gets twitchy when A Christmas Story is on. Because I insist we watch all 24 hours of it, it was usually on during our Christmas Eves from Hell.

Adios I say to those ghosts of Christmas past. NEVER again. We are once again, taking the week before Christmas and running away. The whole lot of us. When I told someone our plans she looked at me incredulous and asked how I could possibly do that? How was I ready for Christmas an entire week before? "Easy", I replied. I'm already done.

The few gifts are bought and wrapped, the tree is up, and as long as I remember to take the turkey out of the freezer, dinner is ready to be prepared upon my return. It took the kids until this year to accept the fact that the ridiculous amounts of gifts from Christmas' past were done. But really they would rather miss an extra week of school and go somewhere exciting than get a bunch of clothes anyway.

And this week I was in the mall picking up some flip flops for the middle child, and I almost got sucked into the "just one more thing" habit from my past. But I walked away. Because really, I don't miss it one bit. This is more fun.

who's the fat chick in the little dress?

when I ordered the dress for my sister's wedding I knew from the one I tried on at the store, that a certain size would fit. It would fit just fine. However I, in my twisted crooked, warped little mind thought if the one size fit, with a bit of breathing room, why then by ordering the size down I would have, something to work toward....

Let's call it incentive.

You know to lose that 25 pounds I've gained over the last 7 years.

mmmhmm...as I sit here googling "cleansers" and diet aids, while eating a piece of cake.

I don't think my incentive is working

there is a tribute in here somewhere

I LOVE football...yes I do. Sometimes I love it a little too much. Sometimes I think I may have missed something somewhere, because if I'm at a game and someone gets hit HARD, other moms are lamenting someone is going to get hurt and I am the one high fiving the kid after the game telling hin what an AWESOME hit it was. I like to think I just appreciate the skill it takes to excell at such a demanding sport.

So it is with a heavy heart I say go in peace Sean Taylor, you had some AWESOME hits.

turkey turkey turkey

mmmm I love Turkey.

I HATE shopping at Wal Mart 3 days before Thanksgiving.

Normally it is just me and husband and the chillins on Turkey Day. Occasionally I have had one of my siblings come to visit. But rarely do I have more than 6 or 7 people to cook for. Until this year when I have 13. So every other year of my Thanksgiving cooking life I have wanted a small turkey. Go ahead find a small turkey, like less than 12 pounds, I dare you. Unless of course you are looking for a large turkey, in which case every effn turkey you pick up will weigh less than your kids did at birth. So I pick up the biggest one I could find, at a whopping 13.56 pounds and think I'll just have to either a) make a crapper load of sides and appetizers or b) continue to check around for a larger bird. On my 3rd store I finally found one. So looks like I'm all set for Christmas dinner shopping.

I am very excied for everyone to come visit, however I was not so excited when I pulled into the parking lot and practically had to get a shuttle to the store. WTF does NO ONE work at 2 pm on a Monday afternoon? So after playing cart crash derby for an hour (By the way, why do they insist on filling the aisles with shit during the busiest weeks of the year?), I got into what appeared to be a "short" line, as if. The short line was filled with people buying crap without prices....300 pounds of butter that was on sale somewhere else and they wanted the sale price for it, (why don't these poeple just go to the store where the sale is? It's like 3 miles away? and what could 2 people possibly be doing with that much margarine...)and a VERY chatty older couple buying gifts off a baby registry, but forgot to give the cashier the slip until AFTER she wrung it up.

As my ice cream is melting on my shoe. Good times.....as I'm thinking why the hell did I invite, oh no not just invite...INSIST all these people come visit. Then I remembered, becasue I am thankful I have them.

Happy Turkey Day...remember why you are thankful too.

I have a boy

actually I have 3, and a neice who's moved in, but enough about them already.

Did you ever look back on something, an event or series of events and, while you may have been confused when it happened, later on you figured out why? That is my youngest.

When we got knocked up we both looked at each other like naa uhh wasn't me. I mean really I know we were all virile and fertile and what not, but it had been one of those months. So much so, that we were on vaca alone when I was at about 4 weeks, and I was thinking I had just gotten lucky that my Aunt Flo had held off visiting until after my trip. I even went sky diving (of course now I know what that does to a 1 month old fetus...dude it makes em all scrambled).

So really his arrival was sort of a shock. But regardless along he came. And you know how you finally start to feel back in the groove when your (then) youngest starts pre school, and you're not hauling diapers and bottles and strollers EVERYWHERE you go? Tantrums finally stop and you start to think life will be normal again some day. Only WRONG...you're in for it again. Yeah that was how I felt.

Everyone told me FOR SURE this would be my girl, that's why it happened. I was due a girl and here she came...only they were wrong. Turns out he did come along for reason I didn't know at the time, but now, NOW I know. Only I start to think I know, only to realize later, there is yet more to the tale.

He was born and my grandmother was very sick, she had been going down hill for a year or so and it was nearing the end. She lived to see him at 5 days old, and I thank God everyday I decided to ignore any medical advice and drive the 2 of us to see her. She died less than 48 hours after we left. So I said "That's why he came along, to help me through my Gram dying"

Then, a year later our marriage was bad. And a big move was approaching, and I contemplated just staying put. But I looked at him and knew he would hardly know his dad if I didn't at least give it an effort, and he dserved that. So we stayed together and I am so glad for that now. So I thought, again...good thing he came along.

Then this past summer when my brother died, my youngest has his name for a middle name. So I thought, see I had him so I would have a tribute to Jake.

And yet again, this past weekend, he and I went alone to visit my siter in Va Beach. I seriously needed a break, but didn't want to leave him home with the older kids and dad, because then I would worry, with husbands schedule I knew the kids would be on their own alot. So I just took him with me. We get to the beach and I am TIRED, I left mad early and it's a long drive, but we decided to walk to the beach and "Say hi". As we are walking up the dunes the smell hits us. You know that sweet sweet smell of salt and wind and uber fresh air. As I am thinking to myself how much I LOVE that smell he yells at the top of his lungs " YES! I LOVE THIS SMELL!".

And yet again my friends, that is why I had him.

today is the day

I was feeling a little blue this morning, Thanksgiving is here and while I am super excited that my brother and sisters and their g/f's, b/f's, dogs and offspring are all heading to the great white hell to celebrate together with me. Obviously we will be minus one and that makes me so sad I could just curl up and suck my thumb.

That and the fact that as I watched the youngest wait for his bus this morning that shit they call snow started falling, AND I think I may have some PMS issues, that have returned since I am no longer physically active EVAH, it seems. Anyway I was in a pissy mood.

And my husband calls, now usually this would segue into a rant or something bad. And believe you me, that man has done enough in the last month alone to warrant me putting a price on his head. But not today, today I am so glad he is mine. If I think the weather is bad here, where is working it is worse. It is pouring rain, turning to snow and miserable. He has already spent the last week working in the rain with a cold, and this morning he souned like hell. One look at the Doppler where he is and I said to him, "Why not just call it a day and try next week?"

Because he is afraid if he waits the opportunity to make the $$$$ up there will be gone. And I loved him so much, because I know how much he hates to work in these conditions, and I know the guys are being asses because they don't want to work in it, and I know the trucks are getting stuck, and the drivers are bitching for late hours and I know it would be easy for him to say screw it and come home.

But he didn't, because giving his family the absolute best of everything is more important to him than anything else. Today I feel so lucky.

(however next week, when the rosy facade is gone, I will bitch about the fact I live in an effn fort, while we collect snow mobiles)

electronics anonymous

Umm Hi! my name is Maria and I am finally joining the new millenium.

Because I am soo incredibly frugal, I have hee hawed around over the ipod situation for at least 2 years now. As soon as I think I have myself talked into splurging on one for, you know, me (my kids are on 2nds, mind you) a better one comes out. So, I wait and again finally convince myself to do it and the price goes down, and I get leery, a better one must be on it's way. It is a vicious cycle, and sometimes I just tire myself out.

Fast forward through the changing of my mind 43567 times, and the actual adding of one to a shopping cart, to remove and/or delete it another 1243 times, that brings us to Friday. I walked in and my neice says "look on the table". So I look, and glory be...angels sing

THE GIRL BOUGHT ME AN IPOD!

How sweet is that? Why? Because I always say I want one and never buy it. My kids could seriously take a lesson. or you know my husband.

I have found the one electronic item that could bring me peace. Yeah, it's THAT good. A friend many moons ago referred to my tatse in music as, let me see if I can remember his exact phrase...."on crack". I can't help it, I grew up in the age of disco, bopped through the British invasion of the 80's, banged my head to some serious metal, saw the first Seattle grunge thing, and have always had a soft spot for anything groovy..you know some r&b, blues, rap. Needless to say I can now jump from Suicidal Tendencies to Elvis, and back to LL Cool J, with zero effort. Plus all my old cd's that skipped...HELLO? It fixes them...(swoon).

The only downfall? I can never use it in public...I can't resist singing LOUDLY.

Boo humbug

I am not a halloweenie kind of person.

I used to be, I was all about dressing up and scoring some free goodies. Playing a trick or two, (or twenty, but just one year, I swear) and generally having fun. Even after I got out of school and was working, I would dress up and embrace the day o spooky.

Then I was a full fledged grown up and would decorate the life out of my house, even though I have usually lived in the boonies where nary a trick or treater shows their face. I loved to get treat bags together for school, and couldn't wait to dress up the chillins and head out in search of a free sugar rush.

Somewhere along the line I lost it. I actually said to myself this morning "One more year". Fifth grade is the last year for Halloween parties where the kids dress up. I didn't even buy a pumpkin this year. I am a Halloween grinch.....

to football moms

One fine hot summer day in August of 1996 I did something that would become a ritual. I dressed my oldest son in his football gear, and took him to practice. It seemed like it was the hottest day of the year so far, and I failed to realize he would need a drink. Lucky for him we lived close to the field and my error was soon remedied.

I will never forget that day. I think of it every time football season starts, every time I put in pads for the inaugural practice, and boil the mouthpiece. How I struggled with the equiptment (and he was only playing flag that year), fought with the damn belt, and cursed my husband for not realizing before hand I would have no clue how to do this and taken care of it. Only 10 minutes late that day, not bad at all, of course we were minus a drink and the mouthpiece was too big. But we were there.

Without fail every August rolls around and I know it's coming. Tweleve years and it's never let me down, the first week of camp will be the hottest it's been all summer, and the stentch of the equipment when I finally get to wash it never stops shocking me. Only now, I am the mom who is always on time and always ready. I am the mom everyone asks for directions to away games, and I am the mom who warns of the danger of over boiling, and carries a spare mouthpiece in her car, because someone will always lose one 5 minutes before kick off.

I am a football mom. I cry when they lose and cheer the loudest when they win. I boo the refs when neccesary, and run along the sidelines if my kid has the ball. I brave a season that starts when I am still swimming and ends with a snowstorm. I will stand in a downpour sipping bad coffee, because if I don't, I won't be able to stand not knowing what is going on. The teams have changed, we have been Bulldogs, Vikings and Huskies, but my pride remains the same.

Last night my oldest informed me his tentatively scheduled game for next week was cancelled, and because of their stellar 3 and 5 record so far this season, the last game would indeed be Friday. As of right now he has no plans to play in college.

I looked at him and said "Just like that, huh?" and started to cry and he said "yup" and teared up a little as well. It's been a nice run.

I will still have gear to wash and pads to fit into those tiny pockets next year, but I will have one less set to deal with, one less game to watch, one less son to cheer for. But my memories of all those games will live on forever and right now I'm glad I was there.

This was in a program a few years ago, and it's a little hokey, but it sums it up.

His Football Uniform

For many long years I washed this suit and goodness what a chore!
I've seen the grass, blood and dirt, the stains and grime galore.
I've held it very gingerly, then dropped it in the wash.
While thinking, next week wash again, gee, O Lord, gosh.

The fortune on detergent, the time I've spent _ I shudder.
For many long years I've washed this suit; call me mother.
But today I washed this uniform, perhaps the final time.
After all those years of drudgery, I failed to see the grime.
I saw the boy who wore it with such pride and dignity.
And suddenly, that football suit looked beautiful to me.
I saw the dedication of my young man to the team.
His pride to wear the uniform, to play the game and dream.

I feel the tingling of the game, the tumult to the end.
The heart, the spunk, the cheer and pats of every loyal friend.
The character and goodness that this uniform helped to grow.
And precious boy who wore it is so special I can glow.
If I had one wish for certain, the one I would adore-
Would be to wash this uniform for many long years more!

Thank you Zak!

on words

My youngest son has had, for most of his 9 years, a gift for butchering the English language. The first word he ever said was "tree", he said it "free", and so it began. Trucks were frucks, motorcycles were a group of sounds I hope I am never able to make, oatmeal was oatmore. The list is long.

Even as he got older he refused to say things correctly, no matter how much correcting I did. I'll admit, he's my youngest it was cute. I would correct him, but it never took. Not only does he mispronounce everything, he refers to most things, at least once as "You know, that thing". Clearly if it isn't overly important to him it gets shuffled to the back.

We have had many an early morning arguement over the mint muffin and ENGLISH muffin debate. A mint muffin (you need to say mint with emphasis) is a sausage egg and cheese sand, like a mc muffin. Which is what the rest of us call it. An ENGLISH (again said more loud than emphatic) muffin is just that.

Last night the 2 of us stopped for dinner on the way to a football game. He was telling me about the dinner he and his brothers and husband went to a few months ago. It was funny because they told the waitress it was middle son's b day and got a free dessert. (survival skills my friends) He proceeded to inform me that the guys, "you know the guys who work there".

"Waiters" I interrupted

"Yeah them, anyway the guys who work there brought out the bong and everything"

So I froze, pretneded not to hear, and prayed no one around me did either.

"The what?" I said

You know the thing they hit (I swear I almost choked when he said that) with the big stick.

He proceeded to demonstrate how to hit a "bong"

Only he meant a GONG.

Homecoming '07

I offer proof, that even though I am aging, my genes are still quite impressive. My oldest at his last HS homecoming, and his equally stunning g/f, and not to be ignored, the good car.

Hey Now

TWO posts in a week...wooo, setting the world on fire.

Stayed home yesterday, on the premise that I had some of my work to do. I am tired of running all week and working all weekend while the dear sig other travels around the country feeding his man crush on Romo . Laundry was piled, paperwork was long ignored, receipts were spilling out of their bin, and payroll was still unfinished from LAST week. Plus I thought it would be nice to feed my family something that didn't come from a window or had been previously frozen. What did I do?

umm nada, but I did clean and cook dinner and do laundry, and read 200 pages of Ghost Story...but I hate paperwork. I am such a non starter. So here we are today and I am once again putting off some work.

So I saw a commercial yesterday for the re release of the "previously released for a short time only, once it's gone it's gone for good" Jungle Book . It got me to thinking of the movies my kids attached themselves to, and how many times I had seen each one. Beauty and the Beast, 101 Dalmations, The Lion King, and I thought if I had to listen to Woody and Buzz one more time, I might actually try to fly myself.

Maybe this is why I don't watch TV now. I find travelling around the blog o sphere lately I am in the minority of non TV watchers. My boys and husband watch Prison Break. Which, in my humble opinion, is the stupidest thing going...how many times is this guy getting locked up? Come on, do people really like this crap? Ewww, so I feel a little like the geek in HS, because I do NOT watch any network prime time shows, do not look forward to the fall lineup, and could care less who has been kicked off, voted out or eliminated.

Just call me Nerd, I'm alone in my room reading a book.

ohhh click on publish post.....

anyway....questions questions questions. That's all I have lately are questions. And questions with no answers, not exactly a riveting read. That added to the fact that the only spare time I have had is from 5:45 to 6:00 am, or 10:30 pm until I fall into a deep coma like sleep, usually 2 minutes later. SO while I don't claim to be a literary genius, or anything, it still hasn't left much time to sit down and think of something to write.

You know, like questions.

I am tormented by the questions. When my brother died everyone said it had to happen for a reason. Maybe a reason we'll never know. But I cannot stop thinking that part of it was so that the rest of us would really and truly understand how short and precious life is. A kick in the ass so to say. But what does it really say?

Be happy.....does that mean change the things in my life that make me unhappy. Or, accept my life isn't perfect and be happy with what I have? Do I go crazy to lose weight, because my body does not make me happy? or do I accept who I am and stop worrying about me shape and just eat the food I love? Do I work harder to acheive things quicker? or relax and take life as it comes, knowing as long as my kids are healthy everything else will be good? Do I spend more or save more? Green beans or broccoli? Take more vacations? Take less?

Clearly I need some answers....or medication.

i'll be expecting a swarm of locusts anytime now

You know when you go through the tragedy of losing a loved one, it SUCKS. Right? right. SO you would think maybe the universe would take my fragile state of emotions into consideration. Maybe I could be sheltered from some of life' s problems for a couple months. Give me time to maybe, you know, get my sanity back. I honestly don't think that would be asking alot. I don't want to win the lottery, well I do, but it's not like I'm gnashing my teeth and shaking my fist at the world because I couldn't score the 300 mil from powerball. I don't expect my children to suddenly become angelic little cherubs, cleaning, laundry doing, non fighting cherubs. I don't even expect special treatment, I know life goes on, I know the world continues, I know I have to continue to be strong and brave and show my children mommy has not completely lost it.

So is it too much to ask that maybe I be spared some of the other shit that isn't just a normal part of everyday stress? Which in all honesty, I think I have enough of anyway. thankyouverymuch.

Because there are quite a few things I seriously could have done without recently, like the 10 day vigil where I was begging God, Allah, and pretty damn near much anyone who would listen to bring upon my niece's (ahem) time of the month. Even though she swore it was impossible, she be pregnant. Never mind the fact there seems to have been NO responsible parental unit when she was back visiting her mom, and grandmother and old boyfriend and friends, a few weeks ago. Finally it arrived with much quiet celebration on my part. Then there was the nail I apparently drove over at some point, a rather large nail it was at that. I found out about it when I came out of Wal Mart to a completely flat tire. So yeah frozen food does NOT hold up well when it's a billion degrees out and you're waiting for someone to come change your tire.

Of course my ever helpful husband, has decided it's time for his 2987th mid life crisis, and every bit of available cash has been dribbling away to incredibly important things like $100 hair cut and color, non profitable trips to AC, useless shit for car racing that is over for the year anyway, and even more important stuff for the snowmobiles..that will be lost before that season begins.

He must have more lives than my cat who keeps running into traffic, with all the "mid life" issues he has had.

One of neighbors has filed a complaint against us and we get to go to court, my accountant is having "trouble" piecing together where $50k went last year, and my printer and Windows Vista don't get along so well. Only they decide not to get along only when I need to have something printed immediately. My dryer has stopped drying things, unless it runs for 90 minutes or so.

There are tons of little things, I seem to be operating in a daze because I have stubbed my toes, and whacked my hands and fingers against more objects I can count. The kid's current schedules have me driving in circles for almost 3 hours straight every evening. And could the oldest stop being a jerk and then blaming it on MY bad mood?

Then finally as if all of that were not enough for me, a poor grieving soul who wants nothing more than to relax and get herself back on track, the real kicker, the big one. There was the raging flood that destroyed all our carpet and alot of our furniture in our downstairs. The same DS that houses ours and the 2 younger boys bedrooms. Well housed, I should say as the boys have been forced to move back upstairs into my old office and we are sleeping in a slightly damp, kinda stinky bedroom. With a dehumidifier that has decided it will no longer auto shut off. I found that out as it was pouring water back out onto the lovely cement floor I get to tread over..IN MY BEDROOM.

And just now as I was dumping said de humidifier, I stepped an a piece of the rug tack strip that was next to the tub....and it hurt.

and you thought picking a pre school was hard

Because my oldest son thought he knew it all, he made 2 mistakes in the last year.

1.He failed a quarter of US History because he didn't turn in the take home work he had to complete while we were on vacation last year, and

2.He missed, by 20 points, the cut off for a couple very good universities on the math section of the SAT. THEN didn't get up the day in May he was scheduled to take it again.

He has since remedied no 1 by dating his History teacher's sister. kidding, actually he won't even be his teacher this year. And no 2, well he has to take the SAT in October again, but unfortunately he really needs to apply before then. Now, he is looking at probably not getting into his first choice of schools (Pitt).

So guess what we did this weekend? Made a list of schools. Ten places my oldest feels will be acceptable to give him the knowledge he needs to succeed in life. Plus I think the hotness of the girls on the brochure factored in some as well.

This task was not as simple as it sounds, seeing as at one juncture I almost threw the 6 inch, 5 pound, US News and World Report Ultimate College Guide at him. If I wasn't so weak from arguing I may have given it a go.

How do you pick a college? I mean really, sure we all have dreams of Ivy League eduacated children...FULL scholarship Ivy League eduacted, I should say. But in reality there are so many schools to choose from. How do you pick a place where you will drive your child, and drop him off on Saturday in August, with his belongings to fend for himself? I gotta tell you..it's HARD. We compromised by choosing schools (with one exception) that were within a 3 hour drive from home. Close enough to visit alot, far enough to let him be on his own. But who is to say he's ready? He was looking for cool campuses, varied food choices and coed dorms. I am searching for bloodshot eyes (or lack thereof), lighted parking lots, lots of cell service, and girls with morals.

I am praying we picked the right ones....he chose 5 we know he will get into
Slippery Rock, Gannon, Marshall, Cal University of PA, and Dayton University. And 5 that he is going to have to BS his way into...Pitt, Penn State, State University of NY at Albany (my family is in Albany so I made a concession), Temple and U of Maryland. Now he could be accepted to a satelite campus for any of those schools (except Temple I think), but his goal is Main.

So, the work begins, there are millions of dollars in app fees to pay, essays to force him to write, and a math section on the SAT to conquer. All this out of a kid who would be content to lay on the couch and play Madden the rest of his life. I have quite a road ahead. If a really handsome 17 yr old is seen wandering the streets you will know why.

and what the hell is that SMELL.....

umm yeah, so that funky stench of old sweat, axe body spray, and feet. That would be my house, and it would mean only one thing....Football season is upon us. Which shockingly enough, means that this is the last weekend of summer vacation. Wow. That's only all I can say.

In past years the return of school has brought about parties the likes of which even Lindsey Lohan couldn't imagine. This year ehh. I mean don't get me wrong, I will eagerly herd the chillins onto the buses and into their cars, and I am uber ready to regain some order around the house. But I am so not ready for the schedules and the running, and the homework. The homework more than anything.

I got just a wee taste of it this week, with four kids in 3 schools and participating in 5 different sports, and my niece who was still working. Back to school meetings, booster clubs, fundraisers, Senior (don't even get me started on that path) parents, and work for us which was very busy this week. I don't think I was home for longer than an hour at a stretch until 9 pm most nights. And here I am bright and early this morning getting ready to head out to a scrimmage.

They say when these days pass me by, I'll miss them. At this point I am ready to give it a go.

and so

it seems, as the saying goes, life does indeed go on. My pain doesn't necessarily disappear, but it takes a backseat. One day last week I noticed I hadn't cried once all day, then I was able to listen to Sweet Home Alabama without feeling like my insides would be torn apart. Then I was able to tell the story of the crack in the light fixture and smile instead of whimper.

Then I realized, my brother, had the last laugh. I have this hideous light fixture over my table, for 8 years I have dreamed of ceremoniously tossing it off my deck and watching it shatter into millions of pieces. Now my husband is doing the happy dance, because my constant begging for it to be put to death are over. Once when Jake was here he hit his head on said fixture, and put a crack in it. Now I will most likely take it with me when I move out.

But things move forward, and luckily we had a happy 1st birthday to celebrate. So I loaded the vehicle and headed home to spoil my nephew and smother him with birthday kisses. He, of course, wants nothing to do with me, but I bide my time, soon he will realize who's house has the cool stuff, and I will become auntie #1. And I'm not too proud to bribe him.


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Husband and I celebrated 13 years of marital bliss yesterday. Although I am forced to point out, our actual anniversary number pales in comparison to the "living in sin" anniversary, which is coming in at almost 16. Which makes for a whole lotta years. I would thrill to say "our love grows more with every passing year", but in actuality, isn't it more like "we become more tolerant of each others crap because we are just plain tired of the same old arguments with each passing year" ? I mean if you were to be honest, what's your view on making a marriage last? I recently told my SIL to be, a/k/a mama to perfect nephew, the key to making a relationship last is determination, love fades in and out, determination keeps you together.

Lastly, when I was home for birthday we also went and picked out out brides maid dresses for my youngest sister's wedding and I am pleased to say I like it. WHich shocked me, because I never dreamed I would feel comfortable in something so strapless.

With all the bad that has happened over the last year, I can only hope that the 12 months ahead will be full of joy, weddings, maybe more babies(them, NOT me), graduations and so on. And while they will all feel a little empty, all we can do is go on.