Thursday, September 27, 2007

ohhh click on publish post.....

anyway....questions questions questions. That's all I have lately are questions. And questions with no answers, not exactly a riveting read. That added to the fact that the only spare time I have had is from 5:45 to 6:00 am, or 10:30 pm until I fall into a deep coma like sleep, usually 2 minutes later. SO while I don't claim to be a literary genius, or anything, it still hasn't left much time to sit down and think of something to write.

You know, like questions.

I am tormented by the questions. When my brother died everyone said it had to happen for a reason. Maybe a reason we'll never know. But I cannot stop thinking that part of it was so that the rest of us would really and truly understand how short and precious life is. A kick in the ass so to say. But what does it really say?

Be happy.....does that mean change the things in my life that make me unhappy. Or, accept my life isn't perfect and be happy with what I have? Do I go crazy to lose weight, because my body does not make me happy? or do I accept who I am and stop worrying about me shape and just eat the food I love? Do I work harder to acheive things quicker? or relax and take life as it comes, knowing as long as my kids are healthy everything else will be good? Do I spend more or save more? Green beans or broccoli? Take more vacations? Take less?

Clearly I need some answers....or medication.

1 comment:

The Kept Woman said...

First...breathe.

Then medicate.

No, only kidding. Take a look at one thing a day...time, weight, family, etc. and decide what you really want...like you said, your brother taught you how short life was. Decide which things you really want and are willing to dedicate time to and throw the rest to the wind.

Most importantly love yourself and your family.