I have a boy

actually I have 3, and a neice who's moved in, but enough about them already.

Did you ever look back on something, an event or series of events and, while you may have been confused when it happened, later on you figured out why? That is my youngest.

When we got knocked up we both looked at each other like naa uhh wasn't me. I mean really I know we were all virile and fertile and what not, but it had been one of those months. So much so, that we were on vaca alone when I was at about 4 weeks, and I was thinking I had just gotten lucky that my Aunt Flo had held off visiting until after my trip. I even went sky diving (of course now I know what that does to a 1 month old fetus...dude it makes em all scrambled).

So really his arrival was sort of a shock. But regardless along he came. And you know how you finally start to feel back in the groove when your (then) youngest starts pre school, and you're not hauling diapers and bottles and strollers EVERYWHERE you go? Tantrums finally stop and you start to think life will be normal again some day. Only WRONG...you're in for it again. Yeah that was how I felt.

Everyone told me FOR SURE this would be my girl, that's why it happened. I was due a girl and here she came...only they were wrong. Turns out he did come along for reason I didn't know at the time, but now, NOW I know. Only I start to think I know, only to realize later, there is yet more to the tale.

He was born and my grandmother was very sick, she had been going down hill for a year or so and it was nearing the end. She lived to see him at 5 days old, and I thank God everyday I decided to ignore any medical advice and drive the 2 of us to see her. She died less than 48 hours after we left. So I said "That's why he came along, to help me through my Gram dying"

Then, a year later our marriage was bad. And a big move was approaching, and I contemplated just staying put. But I looked at him and knew he would hardly know his dad if I didn't at least give it an effort, and he dserved that. So we stayed together and I am so glad for that now. So I thought, again...good thing he came along.

Then this past summer when my brother died, my youngest has his name for a middle name. So I thought, see I had him so I would have a tribute to Jake.

And yet again, this past weekend, he and I went alone to visit my siter in Va Beach. I seriously needed a break, but didn't want to leave him home with the older kids and dad, because then I would worry, with husbands schedule I knew the kids would be on their own alot. So I just took him with me. We get to the beach and I am TIRED, I left mad early and it's a long drive, but we decided to walk to the beach and "Say hi". As we are walking up the dunes the smell hits us. You know that sweet sweet smell of salt and wind and uber fresh air. As I am thinking to myself how much I LOVE that smell he yells at the top of his lungs " YES! I LOVE THIS SMELL!".

And yet again my friends, that is why I had him.