Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I am a mom

Today I am a mom. I feel like a mom. Somedays I feel like a friend, a sister, a confidante. Today I'm a mom. Not only am I a mom, I'm THAT mom. You know the one I wouldn't be. The one who freaked out over things that I thought were ok when I was 18. The mom who is so uncool you can't stand her, the one who is out to ruin lives and the mom who is hated.

What I didn't know before is how much it hurts to be that mom. Even though I know inside I am doing what is best and right. I am doing what needs to be done to insure my child's future is bright and healthy. I just don't understand why he can't see it that way. Have I forgotten so quickly what it is to be 17? No, I just never understood the love a mom has for her children and how desperate the need is to keep them safe. Even when they hate you.

It's days like this, I wish my relationship with my own mom was better. I would tell her how sorry I was, and I would cry on her shoulder. It's days like this I just want to take my sulking son, hug him BIG, and give him all my years of knowledge so he knows this is best. I guess I'll just have to wait for the day he has to be THAT dad.


Brewster said...

Hey Me, It is a hard thing to go through. I know that I wasn't exactly the most wonderful son when my dad was ill and then passed away. He is at that age where he wants to test the waters and try to be a man. Trust me, I have lived through those days. Okay, Brittany is only 11, but man, you would think she was 17. It is just going to take a lot of love and patience as you keep telling me. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

kailani said...

I'm sure it must be hard to go through that. I know I'm dreading when my daughters become teenagers.

Even if he may not see it right now, you know you're doing what's best for him. He'll thank you one day.

movin'mom said...

I don't know the situation but I do know that when you start to feel like you might be putting your child in therapy as an adult your putting him before yourself.

That is what our teens don't get. The easy street would be to never teach lessons, it's because we love them and only want what's best for them that we have to act like a Mom! But I know what you mean, It is so hard to be that mom who until the smoke clears your teen just can't see what's best for him.

Try to get some humor going with him...that always helps to move on from the elephant in the room.