Today I am a mom. I feel like a mom. Somedays I feel like a friend, a sister, a confidante. Today I'm a mom. Not only am I a mom, I'm THAT mom. You know the one I wouldn't be. The one who freaked out over things that I thought were ok when I was 18. The mom who is so uncool you can't stand her, the one who is out to ruin lives and the mom who is hated.
What I didn't know before is how much it hurts to be that mom. Even though I know inside I am doing what is best and right. I am doing what needs to be done to insure my child's future is bright and healthy. I just don't understand why he can't see it that way. Have I forgotten so quickly what it is to be 17? No, I just never understood the love a mom has for her children and how desperate the need is to keep them safe. Even when they hate you.
It's days like this, I wish my relationship with my own mom was better. I would tell her how sorry I was, and I would cry on her shoulder. It's days like this I just want to take my sulking son, hug him BIG, and give him all my years of knowledge so he knows this is best. I guess I'll just have to wait for the day he has to be THAT dad.