Sunday, July 29, 2007

Jake




The day I was born, God looked at the road I had ahead of me and knew I would need some help. He gave me a sister who would be my rock, then He saw I would need a sense of humor, He gave me a brother who would always be able to make me laugh. He knew I would need to feel tenderness, He gave me another brother to show me I was loved. Finally with the knowledge I would be a mom, He gave me someone who would show me how to be patient and tolerant, He gave me another sister.

The four of them helped to shape my future more than any other people I have known in my life, my own children included. We are 5 parts that make a whole, each of us self sufficient, but occasionally, needing the other 4 to fill in the gaps for us. Our love for each other is something rare and wonderful. It is a precious gift that not every group of siblings knows. I am blessed to have them.

Last weekend my laughter was taken away, and our group became smaller. I feel like I might never laugh again, and if I do it will be hollow and empty. I cry every time I say "my brothers and sisters", because now it is just my brother. I feel lost and sad, sadder than I ever thought possible. The last week of my life was so long and tortured I thought it might never end.

But I am thankful knowing I am not alone. And together we will each pick up a little of the laughter that was taken from us. And with our brother's memory, we will smile again....

3 comments:

Bluepaintred said...

my heart is breaking for you. I've never lost a sibling, so I cannot say I know how you feel.

But know I am wishing for strength for you and your family during this time.

movin'mom said...

I have only lost a brother-in-law but it still pangs me to this day because it happened 12 years ago. I am so sorry for your pain~But I love how you defined the bond between you and your siblings. Having 4 children, I could have put their name next to each description you wrote. It will be a difficult journey but each time we hear the Spin Doctors in the radio (his fav band) we dance, beautiful sky with sun rays we feel his warmth...you wrote a beautiful post!!!

kailani said...

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I can't even imagine losing a loved one. My thoughts are with you.