is there a meth addict in the house?

I am known for reminding my husband, rather incessantly, that Karma is indeed a bitch. It seems I am more right than I know. While he spent a good portion of the winter hacking, sniffling, and chugging cough syrup like it were the elixir of youth, I sat back and smirked. Hmmmm, "I'm not sick", I would remark. "Maybe you should take better care of yourself", I would chime, smugly, on my way out the door to the gym. "I can't believe I haven't been sick once this winter", I was heard to remark just a week or two ago.

I think that was the one that got me. Because I AM SICK. I can't even complain about it, cause I will never live it down. Thank God he's been away working, or the torture of hearing him tell me "How much sicker HE was" would probably push me over the edge, and I would stuff used tissue down his throat while he slept. Then I would have to figure out how to get his huge body out of my bed and make it look like an accident. Quite frankly, I couldn't do it on my own. Accomplices always turn on you, so it's super good he's not here.

Now the last time I was sick was probably last spring, chug some Nyquil get a good nights sleep, feel better in a couple days..right? WRONG!!!!!! It seems while I was blissfully enjoying my sick free fall and winter, they went and f**ed with all the good shit..AGAIN. Oooohhh we have to save the world from the stupid kids who chug cough syrup to get stoned. Can't they just do shots like the rest of us did after work behind school 18? I mean I heard some people used to do things like that. We have to shut meth labs down, can't have that poison in the streets. If they can figure how to make meth from cough syrup, I am sure they will be able to figure a way to replace whatever the handy folks at Nyquil took out.

And if anyone out there knows where I can get my hands on some street NyQuil, I will be forever grateful.

the difference a day makes

I took this pic yesterday...70 sunny, blue skies. today my poor daffodils will probably die while they are being SNOWED on. ARRRGGGGHHHHHH

in which I am a boastful

Let me stray from my usual whining about my kids, and be a proud mama for a minute..oldest yesterday did two really great things. He not only finally, after 2 years of coming so close it hurt, qualified for districts for his high jump, but he also tied his school's record. YEA!!!!! He is very confident he will break the school record before he graduates, if not this season, and I am just too proud of him. That's a pic from the paper last year at one of the meets. He jumped 5'10". How does one jump that high with just a few short steps?

reality stinks

I knew my days were numbered. I KNEW it, I don't know why it was so much of a shock, but it is. The questions have started. Shortly after Christmas, after a trip to Wal Mart, youngest came up to me with a look of total disappointment and said

him: Mom, I have a question

me: yes

him: Is Santa Claus real?

me: I believe in Santa (see how I don't actually lie...), why?

him: well I heard some people talking in the store, and they said Well he still believes in Santa

me:(cursing the morons who didn't look around to see if there was a young un near) I think maybe you just didn't hear them correctly

him: Well ok (big sigh)

me: what's wrong?

him: Well, it's just it would make me real sad to think you had lied to me all this time

WHAT!!!!! he is the first one to attempt to accuse me of lying, because he had Santa. So he has lost a couple of teeth in the last 6 weeks or so, all of which he has been compensated for. I was hoping we were past this, he hadn't once questioned the bringer of cash. Then the other day he said to me...."Repeat after me. I swear that the Easter Bunny is real, and may I struck down by lightning if I am lying"

so I did what any mom would do....I crossed my fingers and took my chances.

ME ME ME ME ME ....

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