can you smell it?

if you look and listen closely, you can see it. Spring is so close, I can almost taste it. Lots of little things, birds chirping early in the morning, patches of grass on the warm side of hills. There is the drip, drip, dripping of snow melting, even if the sun isn't out. The patch of mud or 2, and of course the daylight. It seems like it's been forever since it was light when my middle guy catches the bus, but once again the light is creeping back on early.

Even though just last night, I was thinking I am so tired of being COLD. I long for the days of heat like this
one. This morning I was given the ultimate reminder that Spring is closer than I dare dream. The very unmistakable stench of skunk. And it never smelled so good.

Two of a Kind

I love, love ,love my car. I do, I love the sunroof, and the heated seats. I love the fact it's got a Hemi, just so I can say.."Yeah, it's got a hemi". I love it's color (blue), and it's dvd player to occupy the chillins on a long drive. I love it's kick ass stereo so I can sing along. I love that my kids can each have a row to themselves should they choose, and I can fit more crap in it than I should be allowed. This morning I realized why I love my car so much...

My oldest's car needed gas, and he was running late. I told him he could take my car to school if he wanted. At school there is a rule that your car must be backed into it's spot. I often wonder if they made that decision after seeing the havoc that 75 16-18 year olds attempting to back out at one time was, or if they were smart enough to know ahead of time. Anyway, he declined my offer to use my vehicle. His reason was he hates to back it in or out of anywhere, because it's "all ass".

We are two of a kind

L A Z Y

Is laziness one of those seven deadly sins? I really hope not, because if it is, I am doomed. All I can think of is that movie Seven, you know, Brad Pitt. I keep invisioning him walking into my living room and finding me surrounded by dirty laundry, dishes, the Nintendo DS, laptop, and several frozen food cartons, and having some witty remark about my surroundings.

Something maybe regarding my spreading thighs or widening ass being so heavy, I couldn't escape from the growing piles of crap, and merely gave up my struggle only to be completely overpowered, and ignored by my family of slobs, who just thought one of the cats was playing in the dirty towels.

You know, or something similar.

Man I CANNOT get motivated. I don't know if it's because my home looked like nuclear war took place in it, when I returned from my long weekend of sun. Yes 10 days ago..I gotta stop milking it. Or maybe I'm just feeling kinda funky. My excuse for not going to the gym is the cold and snow. I just can't bear the thought of venturing out, unless absloutely neccesary. I should have kept my 40 bucks I paid for Feb, and slipped it into my friend, Catch A Wave slots at the casino. My excuse for doing nothing IN the house. To be quite honest, I ain't got one.

Like I said LAZY. I swear I am starting next week off right. Back to the gym Monday morning, and cleaning house this weekend. Wish me luck, I think the boy's socks are taunting me.

17 years ago

Seventeen years ago, right this minute in fact, I was most likely crying my eyes out. I was scared and confused, unsure of what the future would bring, How would I manage? How would I make ends meet? What about my plans? WHY GOD? WHY?

ok, I KNEW why, but it still wasn't fair ( cmn i was 19)

I spent the next 6 or 7 hours in tears, throwing up, and in more pain then I ever imagined my body could be in. I was poked and prodded, my long standing relationship with modesty was chucked out the window. I had known this day was coming, in fact I was already 15 days past my due date. But nothing could have prepared me for that day. I had alot of emotions that day, most of all I was scared.

Then something happened, amid all the confusion and pushing and crying, my son was born. I heard his first of many wails of indignation, and KNEW everything would be alright. I knew before I even laid my eyes on him. The rest of my life would be fine. How could anything ever be wrong with this little screaming creature in my life?

Seventeen years ago today I fell in love for the first time in my life....

Can you blame me?

is it over yet?

How do you know when it's February? It was 23 degrees out yesterday and I washed my car, and wore a sweat shirt outside. That's sad. When 23 is feeling like a heatwave, and the possibility of mid 40's makes you giddy, you know it's Feb.

February and I have a long standing, love/hate relationship. It loves to see me suffer and I hate it for it. But really Feb is one of those months, like May and August. I can't wait for May to end, I love the first weeks of the kids vacation, money is always in good supply and there is a whole summer of laziness ahead of me. August, I love it's arrival, football is within weeks, and school starts at the end of the month. But I dread the end of it, summer goes with it and I hate to see summer end.

Then we have February, it is the month in which I first became a mom, my oldest will be 17 (!!!!!!!!) on the 20th. You would think that would leave a nice warm soft fuzziness in my heart for it. Not really, all February really is, is 28 days of waiting for it to end. The end of Feb is the beginning of Spring, at least in my mind. Work will be in full swing before the end of March, and I am always ready for that. My darling husband will be out from underfoot, and cash will flow. It's also the last of the bitter weather, and I am forever ready for that to end.

I guess if I were more of an optimist I would enjoy Feb, what with all the bad going away with it's departure, but that never really was my style. I'll just swallow it like a bitter pill and Thank God Above it is not one of those 31 day months. I will hide in my snow cave and wait for March (chorus of angels singing). Smiling from ear to ear when it gets here.

The vaca that didn't want to end

Yea!!!! I'm FINALLY home. I say finally because I didn't think I would ever get here. What a great time though.

My sister and I had a blast, the sun was hot, the rum flowed like water, the eye candy delish. In fact we had such a good time, we felt a need to continue to donate money into their casino. We even laughed about that by the time the trip was over. Visited the straw market in Nassau, they have more knock off bags than I have ever seen in one place in my life. Little Ms can't make a decision is the proud new owner of 3 Kate Spade bags, I managed to control myself and only give a home to one.

However all good and warm things come to an end, and so this happy feeling does as well. We were leaving on Sunday, and I went to the airport a little early with my sister, her flight left earlier than mine. I had a quick jump to Ft Lauderdale, followed by a flight direct to Pittsburgh. Only when I landed in Ft L, my flight was cancelled!?!?!



ummm what? there was no snow, no rain, no nothing...there WAS however, a mechanical issue, and I guess no other planes in all of the eastern us to replace the broken one. After waiting for a stand by position on a flight to DC, that was an impossible dream, i got a free night in the Embassy Suites in Ft Lauderdale. Which may have been a bit more enjoyable had it not been drizzling, and I had had someone to chill with. Of course i forgot to add that I had nothing...NO THING with me. I had a camera, a comb, and my book. Plus because the casino had been so stingy I also had about 100 bucks, and a maxed out credit card.



WOO HOO PAR TAY.



So i got cozy with some sushi from this palce near the hotel and watched Star Wars, I couldn't even use my phone too much, my charger was in my checked bag.



Got up the next morning and headed to FLL, this time I had to go to Charlotte then another flight to Pburg, and another quick jumper to the city near my home. Get to Charlotte (home of a Jamba Juice..mmmmm), and got onto the worst ( although thankfully short) flight of my flying life.



I was in the middle seat.which I totally despise. I am a wee bit claustraphobic, and sometimes all of a sudden I'll just feel like there is no air and I literally have to restrain myself from jumping up and running. Which may be frowned on, what with all the heightened security these days. Being seated in the middle of a PACKED flight, on an older plane, next to a very nice, but very overweight gentleman with a nasal issue. NO AIR



Got to Pburg, and at this point I had been in airports for oh about 17 years. Ok maybe it was more like 20 of the past 30 hours, but still, I was happy to be almost home. Next flight is a quick 35 minutes....35 wee little minutes on a small plane that will probably have 10 other people on board. yea for air.



Turns out there were 4 of us, get on the plane...only the plane doesn't want to go, get off the plane, wait 30 minutes, get on the plane again. Now were cookin, headed to the runway...oh no not so quick. Turn around ...get off the plane (I swear I am not making this up).



At this point i ask the girl at the desk if there is a flight available to another close city, ok first she says to me "Did you check a bag?" why yes I checked a bag..."We won't separate a passenger from a bag." was her reply, my retort? "You separated me from my bag yesterday, no problem. I don't even know where my bag is"



she huffs...I swear she HUFFS and does the eye roll and pecks at the computer. "well we have one in 15 minutes, but you have to go through DC" see this is my life, the night before I would have killed to get to DC. Last night if I could have gotten to Dc I could have been home. But NOOOO last night I couldn't beg my way to DC...today I can go to DC and then head back home again. Because I might want to spend another 6 years on planes and in airports.



At this point we were down to 3, one of the passengers decided to cut his losses and just head back home. So myself and a very nice woman and her daughter sat and waited, and waited .....and waited just a wee bit more. Finally an hour and a half later we board the plane. While we are waiting to take off I peek out the window and see my bag...oh sweet bag how I missed you, being placed on board. I joked at least by having to wait so long, my bag caught up to me.



So we quick head home and into our very small airport and go to get our bags, their bags come through....and thats it. I wanted to cry, i even peeked under the flappy thing the bags come from to see if anyone was there to get my bag that I KNOW was on the plane. No one....so I go to the desk....no one. So i ask the TSA guy, can I back through and tell them I need my bag.



WHOA....THAT IS NOT ALLOWED.



Just to give you an idea of how small this airport really is, the guy who works the desk, also de ices the planes, AND handles baggage. Ok Rite Aid is bigger than this airport, however I could NOT enter the gate area without a TICKET.



BUT my BAAAGGGG.



If I could just wait a few minutes someone will be out. Only 15 minutes later no one was out..so I left. Iwas tired and hungry and missed my kids and was 20 minutes from my house and just wanted to go home.



At 10:30 pm my phone rings..the airport wants to know why I didn't stop at the desk to check on my bag.



I had no strength to answer, I just told them weather depending I would be down for it the next day. Weather has been icky and I still don't have it.



So ends the vaca that didn't want to end.....but at least I made it home and can laugh about it now, and I still have tan lines!!!! wooo

mirror mirror

Mirrors are something there are not a lot of in my house. I don't even own a full length, and the mirror in my bathroom hangs at neck level. I manage just fine this way. I have never been one to scrutinize my appearance nipping, tucking, starightening, etc. My clothes are boring casual, I don't need one.

I know my body is not in the shape it once was. But I accept it and know I am healthy, and exercise regularly, and try to eat well most of the time. Then every once in awhile I go somewhere and catch a glimpse of something I am normally able to avoid. Like my upper arms.

And I want to crawl into a hole and hide.....

I wonder if I would work harder if I had a 3 way mirror in my home, or would I just lose my mind? I'm thinking the mind would go, it's on the brink the way it is.

sorry

I have wondered for a good portion of my adult life if our God was a vengeful God. My husband says no, and if I were him, I would be inclined to agree. I just keep telling him God hasn't gotten him yet, but he's due....ooohh baby is he due.

It was proven to me again that God may just be a wee bit on the vengeful side. Literally, as I was reading my last post there after I had published it, you know when I kinda said "ha ha I get to go away", oldest cell phone rings, not once or twice or even three times. It rings incessantly, I hear him switching from call to call, I know what's going on already, but I was in denial.

School is closed again tomorrow. I will never learn.

hey Mon

DUDE...I'm freakin freezing. Gar I HATE winter. I told my darlin dear husband on Fri that this winter thing, it's clearly not working for me, and he has precisely 9 years in which to make enough cash and sell most of what we own so that I may rest my growing ass somewhere warm for 7 or 8 months a year.

He has agreed to comply, which leads me to believe 1 of 2 things....

1. old people really do not like cold, as much as he loves snowmobiling, he too as he ages, wishes for snow without cold

or

2. i have super Jedi powers i wasn't aware of all these years.

The lakes are beginning to freeze, so my snow should not be so bad from here on out (knock on wood), and I really have no business whining cause I am heading to Bahamas in 48 hours for a long weekend with my one sister, leaving the male species to fend for themselves while I sport some flip flops.

It's ok to hate on me , if you want. I'll understand.

RIP

I had this long post in my head all day an ode to February so to say. Then it happened.

After struggling through spelling homework for 45 minutes, my youngest was clearly finished. I sent him to get his bath and get ready for bed. Before the tub water even began running I hear a wail of

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

I go to the room, ready to break up whatever arguement is escalating and there is the youngest sobbing, not just sobbing..SOBBING.

*sniffle* "m m my f f fish is deaddddd"

why God? why tonight? He was tired to begin with, couldn't this wait for a night when he wasn't already cranky?

I explain to him in my best mommy voice that most goldfish live for just a couple of months, his are like almost 5 years old. if they were people they would probably be 200 by now. This does not help matters, not one little bit. The wailing continues.

He also has a thing about his fish, yeah we've been through this 5 other times. We have to bury them, in the flower bed between the trees, near the pond. Only there's currently 2 feet of snow in the flower bed, between the trees, near the pond. So I mentioned maybe we didn't have to bury this one.

*sniffle* "but he'll be loonneeelyyyyy"

Do not open the foil packet in the ziploc bag in my freezer.

Unless you want some sushi.

the snow already

I know I recently requested "some" snow to get my nagging husband off my couch. I do not recall asking for 2 solid weeks of it. Some days we get an inch or two some days we get 6, Monday I awoke to probably 10 new inches. It is getting kind of difficult to tell where the old starts and the new begins. Mainly because I live at the nexus of the universe or something with the wind gusts and all, and drifts get as high as I am tall, but also because there is so much of the damn stuff.

Maria is not a happy camper. Tommorrow they are calling for an actual storm with like a foot or so. hmph

Bitching was not the pointof my post though. This morning, what with snow falling and wind chills below zero, the kids actually got a 2 hour delay. I love the 2 hour delay, not really a whole day, where they will be doing that infuriating talking to me all day, but just enough time so we are not quite so rushed in the morning.

With my middle guy catching the bus at 6:45 am, and the other 2 out the door an hour later, there isn't too much time to relax in the AM. It's nice to have a good breakfast, and the sun actually be out when they leave. No one is too exhausted and they all get up so much easier. With mornings like that the whole day seems easier.

This is the snow from the roof about to hit the snow drifts on the deck. what a view (can u read sarcasm) I used to look out that window and see my ponds, now I see snow, ooh AND ice.

And this poor unfortunate chair is the victim of my laziness this fall, I mean clearly I did not have enough time between October and the middle of Jan to put it away

hey google.....****^$*) off

you know when i switched over to the google deal this past weekend, i had to change my sign in info. when i attempted to enter my password, THE password, the one I use for every last God forsaken thing., Google told me it wasn't secure enough and I had to choose a different password.

Hey Google.....I use the same password for everything because I am an idiot who cannot remember her own last name half the time.

Now I have to do everything TWICE because I keep forgetting it changed..the inconvenience.

Ichabod Crane we are not

If you grew up in the Capital District of New York, you right now get the title. For those of you who didn't, let give you some background.

Imagine it's a snowy Weds morning, you sit by the radio eagerly awaiting the announcement. "Albany public and parochial schools (or whatever district you were in) closed." Nine times out of ten, you wouldn't get your wish. Instead you would pull on those damn rubber boots that never came off easily at school, over 4 pairs of socks (I would have given my right thumb for thinsulate back then), thrown on a coat, hat gloves pulled pants on under your skirt, because God forbid a pair of pants be allowed when it's 5 degrees out and snowing, and trekked the 9/10 of a mile to school.

And yes I am aware that was a very long sentence, and yes I know exactly how far it was because if you lived a mile from school you got a free bus pass.

Who were you cursing the entire bone chilling walk to school? Those damn kids from Ichabod Crane School Ditrict. Why? The mere thought of snow shut that school down tighter than Sr Lois's supply closet.

To this day their snow day free for alls puzzle me. I mean it's upstate NY, the Adirondack Mountains are all around....IT SNOWS. Sometimes it snows ALOT, and it's COLD. Those Ichabod Crane people thought they were in Florida or something.

I thought of good 'ol ICSD this morning, and if my kids knew better they would have been cursing them too. This is what they had to wait for the bus in

65000 calories and some tv

.....or what I did with my Saturday. Don't you love days like that. OK so my big ol ass doesn't love days like that but I did. I actually got up early and headed out, I was out of bread and youngest had baseball signups. But by 9:30 I was home, back in my sweats and plopped on the couch reading a magazine.

I did do a little work, like cleaned the birdcages (eeewwwww, birds are the WORST pets, anybody want a parrott or 3?), and got the stragglers that didn't get filed when I did all my work earlier this month finally put where they need be. Made 3 square meals, and , and I finally switched to "new" blogger so I had to go to all the trouble of setting up a google account AND changing my layout, cause it's PINK. (sigh) and work hard browsing my pics. And , ummm thats about it.

I was later cruising channels looking for something to watch, and you know TV just sucks. I have no idea how people sit down and watch TV every night, I just don't get it. It is either lame shows or movies I have seen more than 10 times. So my remote finger scooted to the PPV channels, which I always forget about and watched not one, but TWO movies I had never seen.

Little Miss Sunshine, which was effn hysterical. A little raunchy but just my style. And DaVinci Code, which my 13 year old surmised precisely "This movie is confusing". I f I hadn't read the book, I would have no clue about what was going on. And I just didn't like Tom Hanks in that role.

Thats why I usually avoid seeing a movie if I read the book, it is always a let down and it's hard for me to switch my picture of the character to who the actor is. Of course thats also why I couldn't read Lord Of the Rings until after I had seen the movies. Cause Tolkien was just high, and I needed that visual.

I sure hope I can take it easy today, my heart can't stand the excitement.

it's gone to the cats

Ever live in the boonies? No? you may not get this post, in fact you may be inclined to call the nearest Humane Society on me when you're done.

Anywhoo

Because I have cats, you know actual pets, who spend a good portion of their time in my house, take their meals in my kitchen and snuggle up on my bed when I am out earning their keep, our home also attratcts a good deal of "feral" cats. You know crazy strays. I'm not quite sure when they became so numerous, but there are quite a few. We realized it may be an issue when one day last summer.

My son had some friends over and they were snacking on pizza and wings on the deck. Being men, they just left everything on the table out there when the shindig was over. About 4 am I am revived from my slumber by what sounds like a pack of wolves skittering on the deck. I stumble up the stairs, carefull not to trip over my 2 house cats who are cowering on the stairs, to the door to see no less than 15 cats fighting over pizza and chicken bones, you know at the table.

I had decided then that maybe I should stop leaving food for my cats out there, obviously I was attracting attention. But the cats couldn't stay away, our garbage is just too tantalizing. All those picked at plates that find their way to the trash, it's like my youngest is trying to feed them. Of course to blame it all on one person is just not fair, we are a house of carnivores and what the coons don't get the cats will.

I told the story of Charley one of the strays who decided to join us ( of course as soon as we named him he disappeared, loong story). Now I have a chapter to add.

During the last 2 weeks the weather has gone from unseasonably mild to actual winter. Cold, lots of snow and frozen garbage. At one point someone left the garage door open and two more visitors wandered in. They wouldn't come out of hiding behind Mt Crapmore, and being an animal lover, I couldn't stand the thought of them being cold or hungry. So i put some food in the garage for them to eat and figured they would escape at the next opportunity.

I was wrong, seems my house cats showed them the "here's how you get into the ceiling" trick, and I haven't had a decent nights sleep since. I know they are coming out of the ceiling, they eat the food. I even saw the one stalking me under the old coffee table thats down there. And there are kitty prints all over the sports car. Come nightfall though those little buggers are prancing all through the ceiling. Hissing and fighting with each other. Guttural growls from every corner. It's like some kind of turf war going on.

Only guess what? IT'S MY TURF!!!! and I would like to get some sleep.
******************************************

You know I totally just realized, if you had told me 18 years ago that I would have feral cats living in my ceiling and keeping me up at night I would have had to have you institutionalized. How the mighty have fallen.

watch what you wish for

I'm not really sure which is worse, listening to my husband whine over a lack of snow or this

Right this minute I might say he could whine for snow the whole rest of the winter and I wouldn't care. I actually used to enjoy winter. But now I remember why, we lived in a place with normal winter. A few small storms, a couple big snows, and regular old days in between.

Then we moved here. Now it hasn't been bad. I actually have no business complaining. But that's never stopped me before, and it won't now either. I HATE it. HATE...HATE...HATE. The icky icy slush in every parking lot, the icy wipers that you need to stop and smack on the windshield 10 times in a 40 minute drive. The fact it takes 40 minutes to go anywhere it used to take 20 to get to. The deck that I have to shovel off so that an hour later in can be covered again. The white outs, ummm love me some white outs. Nothing like cruising along at 50 mph to suddenly not be able to see 15 feet in front of you. And I can't forget the blowing drifting snow, and that my house is the eppicenter of said snow (as you can see from the pic).

Oh yeah and the best part, my driveway. I have 4 wheel drive and sometimes need a running start to get out of it. Even if it's cleared, the plows come by and leave a foot of snow at the top of it, which, if it gets cold enough will form a wall of ice. As long as I'm ranting over Penn DOT ,we shant forget that at least once every year my mailbox gets it, then I get to dig my mailbox out of the ice and snow to retreive the mail, and try to figure out how to put a new one up with everything all frozen

good times , good times

little story

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there were 2 girls. We'll call them M and T. These girls were very good friends, through everything. From Brownies to boyfriends, to boy bands(lol),to weddings, to having children of their own. Their friendship hit hot spots and cold spots, but they always were friends.

One day M was none to happy about a decision T had made. It really was none of her business, but she stuck her nose in where it shouldn't be and decided she knew everything. And T was wrong.

T attempted to patch things with M, but she had pride too and figured if M was going to be that way let her be. That my dear readers was 13 years ago. In that time M thought about T at least once a week. She thought about T's kids on what would have been their first days of school, and wondered how it went. She heard T had had another baby and felt bad she couldn't offer congrats. She heard T had gotten a divorce and suffered that she hadn't been able to help her friend through what was most likely a very hard decision. She wondered what her dear friend had been up to all these years.

Then one snowy Saturday night, M had her home and computer all to herself. She was killing time and looked people up on Classmates. There was T, so M being ever curious, shelled out the 15 bucks to see what her old friend had been up to. M saw pictures of T's children she had posted and could take no more.

Really she remembered why the friendship went sour, but she couldn't remember why it had bothered her so much. It didn't directly affect her, she knew that a long time ago. Pride and stubborness had gotten in the way. M took the step and sent T a short note through the site, asking her to send her an e mail.

And send she did, about a 3 page email chock full o silliness and pictures. M responded back, with an apology and silliness and pictures. And it was like the last 13 years were erased. Phone #'s exchanged and marathon phone calls loom in the near future. Turns out T had thought of M alot the last 13 years too, and missed her just as much. M will be in T's city in a couple weeks, and cannot wait to see her old friend, armed with many pictures and stories from all those years.

We all have someone from our past that we let slide out of life for no reason. Bring that person back, trust me you won't regret it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some pics to gather up.

so it begins

The Hubs and I have found the secret to many years of happiness. We avoid each other at all costs. OK maybe avoid is a bit strong, we do enjoy spending some time together. But I find it is usually in my best interest to have a bit of a break once in awhile.

That time is now.

I know it may sound a bit cruel or uncaring, but right now...right this minute in fact, I just want him to leave my house and do something, anything. Please?

I thought his recent trek to Washington would cure his snow itch, it really only made it itch more. The saying around here is "If poppa ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". Never is that more true, he was fighting with the 8 yr old last night over a video game. It's like some 37 yr old kid is living on my couch, eating all my food, and complaining to the end of time over the fact that we have yet to receive any snow.

Like I control the snow. Believe me if I did, there would be 6 feet of it on the ground and he would be snoozing away the daylight awaiting his nightly snowmobile trek.

If it isn't going to snow then I want Spring so I can throw his ass out to work for 3 months. Absence does make the heart grow fonder you know.

In which I pay homage to many years of mindless TV watching

this pretty much describes how I feel today

good ole days

in light of my post below, i think i'll just live in denial and pretend this is here and now